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Poems and such by Caro-Kitty

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Submitted on
April 9, 2013
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You're fat.
Or maybe you're
Anorexic...
I don't know.
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.

You're ugly.
Or maybe you're
Fake...
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.

You're quiet.
Or maybe you're
Obnoxious...
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.

You're you.
Or maybe you're
like everybody else?
Well.
You're not perfect.

And that's wrong.
Just a poem I wrote really fast. I don't know.
But I know I know it's another stereotype poem, like my others. But before you say this is all I write, please recognize the fact that I do write other things, and just because they aren't popular doesn't mean they're not there.
Thank.
You.

Facebook! :) [link]
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:iconsassykael:
This poem has touched me in a way that I will never be able to fully put into words. As someone who was constantly told I was never good enough, this poem, however simple it may be, is probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

The message is simple: You're not perfect. No matter what you do, you are not perfect. And in the eyes of society, [i]That's Wrong.[/i] The saddest part about this is, it's true. Society has plagued our minds into thinking we have to be perfect, whether it be the right size, the right personality--it doesn't matter. you're not perfect and you never will be.

But that's the point, isn't it? Because NO ONE is perfect. And that is [i]perfect[/i].

I loved the way that this poem pointed out so many things in just a few short stanzas. It flows well, and is definatly worth taking a moment to look at, and maybe at the rest of their work.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
71 out of 73 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconrosebfischer:
The first line caught my attention. I'm sure that was the point. It's a very effective opening. The piece has a nice rhythm, it flows well, and overall I think the simplicity of the style is a good choice for conveying your message.

I think the use of the ellipsis weakens those lines a little too much, but it's a minor problem. My punctuation choice there would've been a period or a comma, because I keep looking at the "..." and hearing the voice of the narrator trail off.

Really I think the main criticism I have is that your description essentially apologizes for the poem. If you have something to say as an author, I think you should say it and not worry about whether anyone else has a problem with your subject matter or how often you write about the same thing.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
29 out of 33 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconkiki1690:
kiki1690 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Student Writer
I love this! great work
Reply
:iconpopcornflufferyz:
popcornflufferyz Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
I posted this on facebook. I hope you don't mind. I posted a link to your gallery, and told people to come check out all of your poems. This poem just touched me in so many ways, and I don't even think I could put it into words because I feel this pain everyday. Thank you for touching my heart. :)
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No I don't mind at all! :) I'm flattered.
thank you so much!
Reply
:iconpopcornflufferyz:
popcornflufferyz Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013
Of course! :) I just discovered you and I think your poems really tug at the heartstrings! I also read some of the comments, and I noticed a couple of people trying to tell you that you are an "attention-seeker". I want to tell you that they simply could have just walked away and stopped reading your poems if that was how they were going to be. I happen to enjoy the sort of angsty feeling I get from your poems. I think if it sounds good then post it. Don't worry about what others think, because you have your own style and that's all that counts. :)
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:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes! Thank you so much for the support! <3
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:iconpopcornflufferyz:
popcornflufferyz Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013
Anytime! :)
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:iconscorpianakio:
ScorpianAkio Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very nice, if only other people would learn from this :)
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:iconsha-ani:
Sha-ani Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you know what? you're wrong.

;)
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:iconzalterious:
zalterious Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
This says so much about society and the way people view themselves and others. I learned long ago that I wasn't perfect. I learned to like it. If I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.
Reply
:icondickywebster:
Dickywebster Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
People aren't very accepting of those who are different.
Reply
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