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Poems and such by Caro-Kitty


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Submitted on
March 27, 2013
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"Attention seeker."
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.

The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?
more stereotype poems XD
haters gonna menstruate .

comments please :)

facebook!:[link]
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:iconshui26:
I really like this poem. Before I start critiquing the work, I usually try and do the rating first...I'm not stingy, but I was really struggling not to give this poem a maxed out rating. I have to say that I was a little hard on the poem, right? Haha

Starting off, you use great imagery. I can see the knife, and blood dripping. Then you go on to the next stanza, and instead of cutting you use a noose to prove your point of death. I love how you even go down the line with pulling it tight, and then what the person would experience down to their last prayers.

The message you're sending out with the poem, I couldn't agree more with. I absolutely despise people who say cutters and people who commit suicide do it for attention.

Looking back at the poem, I also love how you make everything rhyme. It adds such flow to the poetry, and only adds more rhythm.

I don't know what to say, I love it! I don't even know how to tell you to improve on something. The formatting is consistent, and so is the poetry. Very good, I approve!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
48 out of 48 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconeternities22:
Eternities22 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, it is. It's all done for attention.
Reply
:iconbatflashismydrug:
BatflashIsMyDrug Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh my God. I.... I have no words. Oh wow, that was..... wow. So intense, so moving. I just... there's no words.
Reply
:iconfallenangel12199:
FallenAngel12199 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Student General Artist
wow that's all I can say
Reply
:iconmidnightbiter:
Midnightbiter Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
This really make me think of the line between attention and the unbearable torture...In fact I think Im gonna make a journal about this. (NOT AN AMAZING POEM LIKE YOURS but something to explain how I feel about this.) THANK YOU!
Reply
:iconerebusred:
ErebusRed Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013
Powerful writing. A good exploration of this controversial topic.
Reply
:iconqwibes:
qwibes Featured By Owner May 14, 2013   Writer
Auch... I love it :)
Reply
:iconilovelyle:
ilovelyle Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Student
AMAZING
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconthe-raven-soul:
The-Raven-Soul Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I... thank you. Just. Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank YOU! <3
Reply
:iconthe-raven-soul:
The-Raven-Soul Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No thank YOU! :heart:
Reply
:icondickywebster:
Dickywebster Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013
ever understood why everyone thinks people do that for the attention...
But then I assume people who say that are idiots =P
Reply
:iconiloveanime786:
Iloveanime786 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
this is a really good poem!
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks!
Reply
:iconelixa-carr:
Elixa-Carr Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Student Writer
Wow... Thank you for writing this. The writing's amazing, & the message is so fucking true.
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you <3
Reply
:iconelixa-carr:
Elixa-Carr Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Student Writer
:) No problem.
Reply
:iconevalnia:
Evalnia Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is really beautiful, so well written. I really love the last lines.
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconevalnia:
Evalnia Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome :)
Reply
:iconthecappy:
thecappy Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I would take out done in the last line of the first paragraph, it throws off the flow a tad. Nice work, though.
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the idea, i probably will do that. :) thank you!
Reply
:iconjapancat:
japancat Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013
Yeah, I remember this from high school. People were calling suicidal people sympathy seekers... But then, you don't know if that person's genuinely suffering. All that does is tag them and stain them with your ideals. I used to cut all the time because my home life was shitty and that was the only coping mechanism I had. Though if it got me any attention, it was getting slapped. Again. Ugh. <_<

Anyway, my point is you hit this one spot on. Like always. You are a master at this and never cease to amaze me.
Reply
:iconspiritkittyartist330:
Spiritkittyartist330 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
I bet it's better than my life. "GIRL COME NOW!" "SCRUB THE FLOOR CEAN" *my dad (only parent) is at the frige and i'm all the way on the other side of the house* "BRING ME A BEER OR I'LL STAB YOU IN THE FOOT!" better than enough, he sent me to an orphanige, where, I got adopted. It took awhile though, givin that I have atleast 23 cuts and bruises
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you so much!! <3
Reply
:iconthegothicsongbird:
TheGothicSongbird Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Student Writer
This is just wonderful. It absolutely miffs me when people call others "attention seekers." This poem is brilliant. Thank you.. That's all I can say about this poem - thank you.
:iconblackheartplz:
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw well thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconthegothicsongbird:
TheGothicSongbird Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Student Writer
You're so very welcome <3
Reply
:iconastrogirl123:
AstroGirl123 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Dam I just gotta do something of this
Reply
:iconardikani4:
Ardikani4 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
From the perspective of someone who has been down this dark road, and managed to get back intact...that was the hardest thing about coming back at all. The 'attention seeker' stereotype. God, my life sucked bad enough. Then I had to deal with that? Hateful. Just hateful.

On to the poem...*facepalm*...wonderful! Imagery was great, I loved how you kept the rhyme up the whole way through. Great job and perspective on such a terribly misunderstood facet of human nature. I :+fav: without hesitation. Well done!

Until we meet again...

Kani
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw thanks soo much! I'm sorry you've dealt with this. :(
Reply
:iconardikani4:
Ardikani4 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is what it is...one of those strange things about humans that may never be fully understood. But I thank you for having the guts to write and post this...not many would, out of fear of reprisal. Keep writing! Your works are amazing insights into human nature!

Until we meet again...

Kani
Reply
:iconmalicethehedgehog:
MaliceTheHedgehog Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The one is painfully true. I love all the emotion in it. :D
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks a ton :3
Reply
:iconmalicethehedgehog:
MaliceTheHedgehog Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :)
Reply
:iconeclectic-reception:
eclectic-reception Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, yes! I love satires of stereotypes! :D This is one stereotype that I have always had an issue with. I hate it when people say that cutting is for "emos" and attention whores. Yes, a lot of people do those things for attention, but it's not simply because they want people to pity them. It's because they live a life where no one ever pays any attention to them or all the attention they get is negative. They just want someone to reach out and help them so they know that someone cares enough to do so. That's not to say that there aren't genuine attention whores that are willing to go that far, though. There were these girls several years ago when I was in school that had "cutting contests". -shudder- And, of course, there are other reasons, but, for the most part, it's not: "Wah-wah, look at me or I'll hurt myself!"
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
O_O that's deep.
thanks! :D
Reply
:iconeclectic-reception:
eclectic-reception Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem. :)
Reply
:iconsomelamestuff:
SomeLameStuff Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I remember this point of my life... And I did want attention... from a psychiatrist. >.<
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
o_o i'm confused.
Reply
:iconsomelamestuff:
SomeLameStuff Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Which is the general reaction when dealing with me =D
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
truth! XD
Reply
:iconmariogamer96:
MarioGamer96 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Student Writer
This is really good, I love it. The last line really touches my heart, I hate when people accuse others of being attention seekers when they really just either need help or its who they are, really great job.
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much! :) i'm glad that the point i was trying to make was made :)
Reply
:iconmariogamer96:
MarioGamer96 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Student Writer
Not a problem :D
Reply
:iconangellove94:
angellove94 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013   Writer
really good :) hope everything is ok with u and ur mom <3
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks love. :)
Reply
:iconangellove94:
angellove94 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013   Writer
ur welcome babe :) <3 note me im extrmly bored D:
Reply
:iconsammylovesyoulots:
Sammylovesyoulots Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Student Writer
That is so beautiful..
I love the last line.. It calls out everyone who acuses people of being attention seeking for this.

Its really powerful and well written
Reply
:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much <3
Reply
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