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:iconmikkimarie: More from MikkiMarie


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Writing by SnowCoveredLoyalty

Literature by LunaDianaRaine

Poetry by Pisces--Dreamer


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Submitted on
February 22, 2013
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Look over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
Faster.
Faster.
"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Shut up.
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
Freeze.
Stare.
Laugh.
"What are you doing?"
Dying.
"Nothing."

They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
"What's wrong?"
Please save me.
"Nothing."

Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
Do it.

"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Nothing."

Laugh.

Smile.

Scream.

"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Disorder.

... "I don't know."
my personal experience with Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. <3
comments? :)
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:icon1ianda:
Coming from another Bipolar, I see where this is coming from.
It isn't a subject touched upon as often as it could be-- It has not the terror aspect of Schizophrenia, nor the popularity of depression, and yet can be just as crippling.
There are few words to describe the waves and wash that silently plague us as we lucidly dream during the day.
There is no escape, no release, it is our day and night. Uncontrollable urges and swings for no reason.
My only problem for this piece, is that it doesn't immerse the audience in what we feel. This piece hit home for me specifically because I go through this shit every day.
But a normal person, it just feels spastic.

When I try and describe Bipolar disorder, I use colors. I wish you could incorporate colors into this piece, showing the washing nature of bipolar, because it isn't as black and white as many believe. It is hard to tell you've had a mood swing, because it's such a natural transition in your mind.
The mind-- a place of demons and dragons, of treasure and triumph, and of hatred and regret.

So yes, you did a wonderful job of description-- but what I really wanted to see out of this piece was a way for the people without it to be immersed, if only for a moment.

I know I'm asking you to do the impossible, and that this critique is a bit harsh. But, seeing as you have the gall and guts to create it, you can modify it, and I cannot wait to see the result.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconkelsi-laurin:
kelsi-laurin Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I also have bipolar disorder with psychotic features.  Thank you.
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:iconkilluanatsume:
Killuanatsume Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014
You have talent in poetry. It's a great poem and it touched me a lot.
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:iconb4dboy:
b4dboy Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014
That pretty much sums it up for me. I've only just been diagnosed but reading peoples words on here gives me hope that oneday someone will understand. Thank you x
Reply
:iconnarnianopal:
NarnianOpal Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
... my anxiety often works this way, though it shows itself in a different form. This is beautifully written, but I am so sorry for the pain that must have inspired it. Thank you for being willing (and brave) to share this.
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:iconladyunkindness:
LadyUnkindness Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been reading your poems on DA. I'm quite moved. I've been told that I could have Bipolar 2 and that's bad enough. But I'm really lucky in the sense that I have an amazing support network and I've learned, for the most part, how to deal with huge, explosive emotions. Medication helps too. But then again, it does have its downsides. I'm a hugely creative person and I feel that the meds have put a stop to my creative flow (hence the DA account with barely any art).

As egocentric as it may sound, I hope you're coping as well as I am. The ups are wonderful. Use them wisely. The downs are crippling and run overwhelmingly deep. But they're beautiful too, in a way.
Reply
:icontangledtabby876:
TangledTabby876 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013   Digital Artist
my life in a nutshell.
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:iconkiku----honda:
kiku----honda Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WOW. I believe this does a better job of explaining bipolar disorder better than the the dictionary definition! :iconwowplz:
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:iconmikkimarie:
MikkiMarie Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you!! <3
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:iconkiku----honda:
kiku----honda Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconhappyhappyplz:
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:icondickywebster:
Dickywebster Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
Oh I do hate it, though this puts it in a kinda nice way :)
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