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Poems and such by Caro-Kitty

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Submitted on
May 8, 2013
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1.3 KB


178 (who?)
I am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
Fourteen human figures without a face… they attack my soul
And everybody’s staring at me without an honest reason.

I am a victim of the people of the world
Who only want to hurt me, and my innocent family
Terrified of the ones around me, even those I love
When a nightmare becomes my reality.

I can’t take a shower without peeking outside the curtain
And I can’t close my eyes when I wash my hair
Because I’m horrified, afraid that when I open them
I’ll see somebody with a bloody face angrily standing there.

Sometimes I unlock the doors and then lock them again
And to be honest, I’m not completely sure why
And I can’t go upstairs at night, because what if there’s a fire?
I won’t be able to make it out in time.

I am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
And somehow, out of all people, this disorder chose me
And I’m tortured without an honest reason.
I skipped my pills for about a week, and oh boy. I'm never doing that again.
This is me.
Comments? Critiques? I appreciate them all! <3
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Epixelle Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aw. :( I wish I had encouraging words for you, but to be honest I don't know what you are going through. I totally get the not closing eyes in the shower thing, though. That stuff is scary o.o
MarcyTrancy Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Student Artist
I'm Bipolar with a bot of depression at 12.....The part about being scared of closing my eyes in the shower,locking the door and going up the stairs at night is what I do a lot.....It's freakin' creepy
piepiepinkype Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The two lines "I can't take a shower without peeking outside the curtain and I can't close my eyes when I wash my hair" literally describe me in the shower. 
schriftsteller Featured By Owner May 12, 2014   Writer
Oh hunni. I've been bipolar since I was 14, so a decade now. I remember all of these feelings so vividly from when I was younger. I still have problems closing my eyes in the shower sometimes except I imagine Norman Bates instead of a bloody face. I know this was written a year ago and you were back on your meds but I hope you're doing much better now. I'm not going to say that it gets better but it does get EASIER to deal with over time. I wish you all the best. :heart:
randomnote96 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Absolutely beautiful! When I was young I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Severe Anxiety Disorder and Tourette Syndrome, so this poem really hit home. I went to public school for the first 5 grades... It was hell. I was not paranoid about inner demons but every time my mom went out I was afraid she wouldn't come back due to a tragic accident. She had to stay in the school library when I was in class, but even then she usually had to take me home early because of extreme stress. I had panic attacks, my Tourette's caused neck problems and I cried on a daily basis. Now I have the right medication and I function just like a normal teenager. I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I know that it does get better no matter how much you think it won't. Hug 
roxyrapp Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have Bipolar Disorder and Depression at 13... this describes it exactly... especially since i cant go on medication because it might make my depression worse... I cant even close my eyes at night for fear that Slender Man will come and get me, or walk in a room with sleeping people for fear they will wake up and become zombies... ^^
I also have anxiety disorder.... So, that magnifies it... hehe
ArashiNoShinzo Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have Bipolar Disorder, but also have ADD along with it as well. Trust me, having both is a battle. But, I'm on medication and it does help. One time, I didn't take them, and I will tell you...It wasn't pretty. I've been to a psychiatric hospital three times because of this. Please don't ever skip them again. I hope you are on good medication dear. 
nvrsubtle Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
your poems strike closer to home than i can appreciate in any way happily. but they still make me feel less alone in similar tortures. i wish i could stop reading them but i won't. thank you.
kenntara833 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Don't skip your pills again sweetie...
miseryofbrokenhearts Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I suffer from Bipolar as well, I know how you feel when you get so anxious and paranoid of everything around you. But, sweetie please never skip your medicine again. It will help keep your moods more controlled. Anytime, I skip my medication I end up hospitalizing for harming myself due to my paranoia.
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