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Submitted on
May 8, 2013
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I am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
Fourteen human figures without a face… they attack my soul
And everybody’s staring at me without an honest reason.

I am a victim of the people of the world
Who only want to hurt me, and my innocent family
Terrified of the ones around me, even those I love
When a nightmare becomes my reality.

I can’t take a shower without peeking outside the curtain
And I can’t close my eyes when I wash my hair
Because I’m horrified, afraid that when I open them
I’ll see somebody with a bloody face angrily standing there.

Sometimes I unlock the doors and then lock them again
And to be honest, I’m not completely sure why
And I can’t go upstairs at night, because what if there’s a fire?
I won’t be able to make it out in time.

I am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
And somehow, out of all people, this disorder chose me
And I’m tortured without an honest reason.
I skipped my pills for about a week, and oh boy. I'm never doing that again.
This is me.
Comments? Critiques? I appreciate them all! <3
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:iconrandomnote96:
randomnote96 Apr 1, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Absolutely beautiful! When I was young I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Severe Anxiety Disorder and Tourette Syndrome, so this poem really hit home. I went to public school for the first 5 grades... It was hell. I was not paranoid about inner demons but every time my mom went out I was afraid she wouldn't come back due to a tragic accident. She had to stay in the school library when I was in class, but even then she usually had to take me home early because of extreme stress. I had panic attacks, my Tourette's caused neck problems and I cried on a daily basis. Now I have the right medication and I function just like a normal teenager. I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I know that it does get better no matter how much you think it won't. Hug 
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:iconroxyrapp:
I have Bipolar Disorder and Depression at 13... this describes it exactly... especially since i cant go on medication because it might make my depression worse... I cant even close my eyes at night for fear that Slender Man will come and get me, or walk in a room with sleeping people for fear they will wake up and become zombies... ^^
I also have anxiety disorder.... So, that magnifies it... hehe
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:iconarashinoshinzo:
ArashiNoShinzo Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have Bipolar Disorder, but also have ADD along with it as well. Trust me, having both is a battle. But, I'm on medication and it does help. One time, I didn't take them, and I will tell you...It wasn't pretty. I've been to a psychiatric hospital three times because of this. Please don't ever skip them again. I hope you are on good medication dear. 
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:iconnvrsubtle:
nvrsubtle Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
your poems strike closer to home than i can appreciate in any way happily. but they still make me feel less alone in similar tortures. i wish i could stop reading them but i won't. thank you.
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:iconkenntara833:
kenntara833 Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Don't skip your pills again sweetie...
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:iconmiseryofbrokenhearts:
miseryofbrokenhearts Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I suffer from Bipolar as well, I know how you feel when you get so anxious and paranoid of everything around you. But, sweetie please never skip your medicine again. It will help keep your moods more controlled. Anytime, I skip my medication I end up hospitalizing for harming myself due to my paranoia.
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:iconflamebladegirl5362:
FlameBladeGirl5362 Jun 11, 2013  Professional Writer
I may not bipolar disorder, but this made me realise a lot of things. it was so beautiful, and so well put out. you are an amazing poet, and bet you're an amazing person. I will read this a lot, probably once a day to remind myself.
Keep up the fantastic writing!! :)
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:iconearthsoul22:
Earthsoul22 Jun 6, 2013   Digital Artist
my older sister sufferers from bi-polar it's horrible you don't how to help them feel better when they're at a low point
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:iconkiller-paw:
Killer-Paw Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:( i know how ya feel bipolar disorder is just....i mean i have it too and i hate it..... i was even put in the asylum for it a few times
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:iconlonelyaura:
Oh, man. This definately strikes me as the more schizophrenic side of the spectrum, but still. This really strikes me. Thank you for this, and I hope your demons are held at bay by the medicines you take.
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