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Submitted on
June 29, 2013
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Dear everybody,
I’m not just moody.
I have Bipolar Disorder.
I don’t choose to have this unbearable depression,
Where I sob uncontrollably and the most unpredictable times.
A sadness that paints your entire mind,
And drips
Down into your soul.
And you don’t know when it’s suddenly going to
Change.
Change, from being a terrifying unhappiness,
To being such a fantastic happiness
So spectacular,
That you can’t even connect your thoughts with your own brain.
Where you challenge the world,
Because you feel bigger than a speck of dust for
The first time in your
Life.
And then?
It changes.
It changes from being such an incredible mess of emotions
To being the creator of no emotion at all.
And soon, the lack of emotion
Starts to eat away at your heart.
And you don’t choose to…
But it turns into an
Unbearable depression,
A sadness that paints your entire mind
And drips
Down into your soul.
This is Bipolar Disorder.
This is me.
This is who I am.

And I’m not just moody.
This is my experience with Bipolar disorder...
Yeaaaahhhh hope you enjoyed :)
Comments?

Check out my facebook for more poetry, for photographs, to give me poetry ideas or just to chat <3 [link]
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:iconxjenniferthekillerx:
XJenniferTheKillerX Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I love ya girl! You write THE BEST poems
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:iconrenegadeheart13:
RenegadeHeart13 Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have Bipolar as well so I know how hard it can be with the people around you. My own family always act like their walking on eggshells around me because they never know how I'm going to act; If I'm going to be on a major happy mania, if I'm going to be in a rock bottom depression, or if I'm going to be so angry I just want to throw my video game controler at the t.v. (or just name the video game consile, like I named my Gamecube Jeffery, so when I end up getting pissed off and start yelling I dont look like a total moron to people lol). They never know how to react and they dont treat me like a normal person. They also dont treat me like my actual age. None of my friends or Family do. And its all because they dont know how to react with me. Ive over heard my mother taliking to my step-father before about my bipolar, and she has said in the past that she just doesnt know how to handle me. That I'm a volitle kid. She says that even now when I just turn 21 years old this July on the 6th! Im no longer a kid or a child, and yet, because of my bipolar, they treat me like a twelve year old. My fiance gets the same treatment because of his bipolar disorder too, and it sucks. The only time it seems for the both of us, that it doesnt seem to act up, is when me and my fiance are around eachother and alone. Otherwise we constantly have to watch ourselves, especially around new people. Thats the reason why I became such a wall flower in High school. I didnt know how to control it enough not to blow up on a classmate or teacher all of a sudden and I was afraid I would do so. But I toughed it out and have learned to control it the best I can, even with the meds they put me on (which dont seem to work for me much anymore). Anyways, getting off my own soap box here (lol) this was a beautiful poem, and I think its wonderful that you were able to put how you felt about all of this (your poem) into words and share it with everyone here at deviantart. Very well done. 10 stars! lol

-Raven Lily :tombstone:
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:iconwallavan000:
wallavan000 Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like bipolar people. You know that there is something wrong when you think that bipolar people are the coolest people ever and think that it would be kind of cool to be bipolar to see what it's like. I know I've got problems and all but normal people are boring anyway.
Reply
:icontoddntheshiningsword:
ToddNTheShiningSword Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow there's more :dalogo: spam on this one piece than I've seen on dA my entire time to date... :(
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:iconmusicfreak87:
musicfreak87 Jul 9, 2013
I had reached the end of the line I took my chances with this now I make all the calls just picture the possibilities
[link]
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:iconetoare:
etoare Jul 9, 2013   Photographer
I had tried everything because of this im always one step ahead ive finally reached the top keep this between us
[link]
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:icontigemari:
tigemari Jul 9, 2013
Quickest Way to Burn Fat
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:iconezekiell666:
Ezekiell666 Jul 9, 2013
How to get started making money
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:icongumigirl:
gumigirl Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Stunning. I can relate...you described it so well. :heart:
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:iconlichtie:
I can empathise on how you feel, it's a tumbling spiral into an ever darkening pit of Despair, until wishing for complete extinction. It's Summer now, some days are wonderful and you actually feel glad to be alive and feel you have a future, then all of a sudden this crumbles into nothingness, not even dust, just nothing. I'm dreading the Winter. I live in the North-East of Scotland. it's dark and grey all the time and very hard to try to lift your spirits. I lost a former lover and friend in the September of last year . She was only 44, and had cancer. I wanted to die. I still think of her at least once a day, the happy, and innocent times we shared make me smile. Then comes the darkness.
Sorry if this makes you feel down, but there are others that you can share your pain with. We'll listen and try to support or help, or even just listen. Your poem/prose is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
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