[x]

I Am SchizophreniaShh.
Don't tell.
Shut up.

Sit there.
And don't
Say
Anything.

"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Turn off the light.
On again.
Off.
"What are you doing?"
Breaking.
Dying.
"Nothing."

Stare.
You can't fight the shadows.
They'll kill you if you tell.
Shut up.

Scream.

Rip your hair out.

Cover your eyes.
Uncover them.
Cover them again.

Lock the door.
But look
Now you're trapped.
Unlock it.
Lock it again.

"What's wrong?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Don't take the medication.
It's poison.
Don't drink the water.
Don't eat your dinner.
Don't sleep.

You
Won't
Survive.

"I don't know you anymore. Who have you become?"
I

I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Stop.
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
"A little."

Punch your own stomach.
Harder.
Harder.
Does it hurt yet?
Yes.
Keep going.
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."

Stare.
Cry.
Scream.
Stop.
Keep staring.
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
"Nothing."

"Emotional freak."
I'm just depressed.
"Sorry."

Stare at your arms.
Your stomach.
Your waist.
Your thighs.
"What are you doing?"
I'm ugly.
"Never mind."

"Attention seeker."
I just have low self esteem.
"I'm sorry."

Cuts.
Scars.
Tears.
Emotions.

"Emo."
"Sc

BullyShh.
Shut up.
Don't
Say
Anything.

Run.
Faster.
Faster.
Faster.
Stop.

Scream.

Fear.

Die.

Demons in the shadows
Twisting
Turning
Staring.
Watch yourself
Bleeding.

Quiet now.
Hush, child.
They'll find a way
To get you.

Beatings, swallowing you.
Scars, defining you.
You.
Breaking.
Crying.
Dying.

After all
You know you're weak.

You can't fight a bully
When the bully's inside of you.

I'm Fine‎"Are you okay?"
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

So much time, so little to doI have seen the beauty of a dove beneath the skies
I have told the harshest truths, and I have told some lies
I have seen a child cry into its mother's arms
I have been that weeping girl who held onto self-harm

I have heard the laughter of a man about to die
I have seen the anger resting deep within their eyes
I have been the victim of my own disgusting thoughts
I have seen the best of people slowly start to rot

I have felt the heartache; I have seen a love go blue…
So much time is left to spare, but so much less to do…

Attention Seeker"Attention seeker."
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.

The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?

I Love You, DaddyDaddy, please don't touch me.
It doesn't feel good.
It makes me feel..
Naughty.

Daddy, please don't hit me.
I didn't mean to disappoint you.
When you hit me, it makes me feel...
Bad.

Daddy, please don't hurt her.
Mommy didn't do anything.
When you hit her, it makes me feel..
Mad.

Daddy, please don't say you love me.
I know you're lying.
When you say you still want me, it makes me feel...
Sad.

Daddy, please stop screaming at her.
You already killed her.
When you scream at her, it makes me feel..
Angry.

Daddy, stay there.
Let me sink the knife into your throat.
When you bleed, it makes me feel..
Alive.

Daddy, aren't you happy now?
As you

Holding HandsA child interlocking fingers with
His mother...
As his father lies
In a casket
Of roses and sweet memories.

Children high five and
Hold hands to
Dance, and
Spin.

Hands, used to hold flowers and
To give a gift to those in need.
Used to
Brush the hair out of her face
Before the kiss.

As he asks for her hand in marriage
she smiles
And allows him to place a shining ring
On her finger.

Hands.
Used to hug one another
only leading
To falling
In love.

Fingers.
Used to tickle a piano
with a soothing melody
or to type a letter of sorrow
As we use our hands to
Slide the knife
Across our throat.

And with the future

IntruderDo you remember when you were an intruder?
When I attempted to banish you?
I did not have a clue that you were a part of me.
Eventually I gave up and let things be.
I no longer drown in you, I've learned how to swim,
I struggle to keep my head above the waves.
Before I knew it gradually I became your slave,
But I no longer fight for freedom.
Over time I have grown fond of you,
And no matter what I try to do,
I cannot survive without you and this hell.
You've grown to be my psychotic friend,
To the brutal end that is closer than before.

A mermaid stole my bonesI want to deteriorate into the ocean and feel the waves
Break over my spine
Because I’ve learnt through trial and error
That holding my breath only makes my heart beat faster

And plain white pills do nothing to soothe
The anxiety sewn deep within my bones
The bitter aftertaste still lingers in the back of my throat
much like the feeling
of her breath in my lungs

Poor Man's GoldHush the youngest children, for the demon in the skies
Treasuring the very thought of anyone's demise
Glitter fades to black and shining moonlight fades to dust
Every cruel man's wonderland is built of poor man's trust
Tragic, empty melodies and blood beneath the air
Fearlessly escape the wind and drown without a care
Treasure death as platinum, as silver and as gold
Every cruel man's wonderland is built of poor man's gold...

One dose of glitterOne dose of glitter can light up the world
One little thought can bring back little girls
Fairies and dragons and strong, worthy knights
One dose of glitter can shine through the night

Hush, little girl, for the stars in the sky
Shining so sweetly like your stunning eyes

Don't let the nightmares define what you'll be
Notice the beauty within every dream

Hush, little girl, there is no need to fight…
One dose of glitter to light up the night.

CancerFeel the pain aching through your bones
Your flesh, seemingly fading to dust
Your mind, burning
Your thoughts, racing.
Dying.
Breaking.

"It'll be okay."
No it won't.
"I know."

Fight the tears, your father can't see you cry.
After all
You're a fighter.
Right?

"You can do this."
No, I can't.
"Thank you."

Breathe.
Slower.
Slower.
No.
Faster.
Stop.

Shut up.

You
Can't
Win.

After all
You don't have cancer.

Cancer
Is who you are.

Bipolar DisorderLook over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
Faster.
Faster.
"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Shut up.
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
Freeze.
Stare.
Laugh.
"What are you doing?"
Dying.
"Nothing."

They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
"What's wrong?"
Please save me.
"Nothing."

Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
Do it.

"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Nothing."

Laugh.

Smile.

Scream.

"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Dis

Me.Anorexic.
Obese.
Funny.
Stupid.
Idiotic.
Retarded.
Lame.
Emo.
Scene.
Slut.
Disgusting.
Attention seeker.
Obsessive.
Label.
Stereotype.
...
Me.

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I Am, Who Are You?I am thirteen years old.
I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
I am proud.
I am strong.
I am unique.

I am a poet.
I am an artist.
I sing.
I draw.
I create.
I express.

I have Bipolar Disorder.
I have hallucinations.
I have delusions.
I am not crazy.
I am not strange.
I am different.

I am me.
Who are you?

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.I am not brainwashed.

I do not think i'm perfect.
I do not think I'm always right.

I will not fight.

I am a thirteen year old girl.
I am unique.
I am different.
I am proud.

I am one of Jehovah's witnesses.
I am strong.
I am alive.
And I am proud.

CanvasLet her paint a masterpiece,
Let her paint a lie
Let her paint a word inside the shining silver skies.

Let her paint a mystery,
Let her paint a sin
Let her paint the things that lie in darkness deep within.

Let her paint a masterpiece
(but this time there's a twist)
Make the brush a blade and let the canvas be her wrist...

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Submitted: January 3
File Size: 672 bytes

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Bulimia

by ~MikkiMarie, Jan 3, 2013, 7:11:36 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Thrust your fingers down your throat.
You're ugly.
Fat.
Disgusting.
Horrible.
Wrong.

You're hideous.
No one wants you.
You're a horrible mess, a disaster set before them.
Make yourself thinner.
Make
Yourself
Beautiful.

The models on magazine covers
Thin
Strong
Wonderful.
Why can't you be like them?
Instead you're an ugly, horrifying, sickening mess.

Make yourself pretty.
Make yourself perfect.
Thin.
Skinny.

Make
Yourself
Beautiful.

Bulimiaby ~MikkiMarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

comments?

~angellove94 Feb 22, 2013 Writer

this poem make me weak with tears

i had a history with bulimia and anoerxci now it a struggle for me!

~MikkiMarie Feb 22, 2013

sorry hun.

~angellove94 Feb 22, 2013 Writer

it ok dear :/ im better now

~Monochrome-Kitten Jan 3, 2013 Student Traditional Artist

Many of the models on magazine covers and posters look ill to me. They are thin to an unhealthy point, it truly isn't beautiful.

Wonderful piece. I love reading your poetry, it's very deep.

~MikkiMarie Jan 3, 2013

I agree actually. sometimes it disgusts me.

Thank you

~Monochrome-Kitten Jan 4, 2013 Student Traditional Artist

I find myself disgusted by it the majority of the time... I just saw a report on television about a fifty-nine pound woman battling severe anorexia, she is five foot eight. It's heart-wrenching.

My pleasure!

~cherryice1988 Jan 3, 2013

whoa

~MikkiMarie Jan 3, 2013

thanks

!TriceraCop Jan 3, 2013 Student General Artist

fkdhfsh I'm bulimic ><

~MikkiMarie Jan 3, 2013

D: I'm sorry

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