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Can't you hear the voices?
As they ring inside my head
Can't you see the faces?
Painted in the blood so red
Can't you taste the poison?
As it rests upon your tongue
Can't you hear the voices?
No?
Then you do not belong.
Nyarrggh... I couldn't finish the poem, so I guess this is it =P
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:icontardin13:
tardin13 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014
Wow. I have to say it: I've stumbled upon this poem more than one year ago. And it made such a hard impression on me, that more than one year later I could recall it from memory. I saw a drawing of a character hearing invisible voices (portrayed as ghosts), and remembered the poem instantly. So I searched "Can't you hear the voices?" on google, plus the 'deviant' query and here I am again. As a fellow writer I must say that to make such an impression on someone is what, I guess, we all aspire for. To connect with our readers. This piece really did so with me. Thank you.
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:icon04superstar:
04superstar Featured By Owner May 23, 2014
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death.Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow. u will either get kissed or asked out, if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. in 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorryReply
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:iconmyrethy:
Myrethy Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hey Mikkie, I used this poem in a Found Title Poem contest... here's my poem myrethy.deviantart.com/art/Fou… :)
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:iconmyrethy:
Myrethy Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, finished or not, this poem is the perfect length and just perfect in general!
Reply
:iconevryrosehasitsthorns:
evryrosehasitsthorns Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Finished or not, I like it. Doesn't seem like it needs to be longer. Whenever I can't seem to 'finish' a poem, I just scrap it, so the very fact that yours is posted here seems to show me that you aren't as obsessively anal about getting the poem to be whatever form of 'right' is in your head. ^^; If what I write isn't as good or better than what I wanted initially, it most always gets scrapped... Who knows, maybe you are and this one just slipped through the cracks. xD Either way, I'm glad you didn't try too hard to finish it and then potentially scrap it like I would. It's perfect just as it came out.
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:iconhermoony:
HerMoony Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is nice.. I like it.. Its simple and spot on to how I feel
Reply
:icongrayrosesdayly:
GrayRosesDayly Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
reminds me of alice and wonderland
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:iconkyoloverxxx:
kyoloverxxx Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013
It kind of touches this point in my life because I always hear the voices.mother thinks I'm playing saying it's normal,she does it to.But I know the difference between your conscience and the voices.They haunt me.And tease me.But they were always there for me though the bullies,rape,and my cutting.So I can't get rid of them,therefore they are my best friends.Please do not think I am a psycho,I'm just tortured and misunderstood,A lost,pained angel.
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:iconunabiding:
Unabiding Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love it >:]
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:iconsasukeuchihasan:
SasukeUchihaSan Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Made me think of schizophrenia, but otherwise very good! Not only that, but it reminded me of myself when I'm overwhelmed with emotions (usually anger). Even So, keep up the good work!
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:iconsmithr11086:
smithr11086 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like it :)
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:iconahhwellhellothere:
ahhwellhellothere Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I adore this!
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:iconinsanitywolfie:
InSaNiTyWoLfIe Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. Just Lovely... i do hear voices ._.
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:iconpeacefulpanda12599:
PeAcEfUlPaNdA12599 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
perfect explanation for schizophrenia.
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:iconscaralla:
Scaralla Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Feels
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:iconmoodyblooz:
MoodyBlooz Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
WOW!! that is so beautiful, but kinda sad as well :tears:
Either way, I :heart: IT!!!
Reply
:iconxxjennakittyxx:
XxJennaKittyxX Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
it is beautiful, i'm glad i stumbled upon it.
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:iconlonelyaura:
LonelyAura Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
Woah! This is amazing. When I read this, this really makes me think of schizophrenia, in the sense of the hallucinations, and the last three lines alluding to the subject's paranoid delusion. Anyway, great job! Thank you for making me think!
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:iconloppearrabit:
loppearrabit Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
excellent flow!
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:iconemperorofcaesar:
EmperorOfCaesar Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
I liked the way you kept questioning until the end, and it's a very emotional poem. I enjoyed reading it.

Few ideas I'd like to share:

1) you mentioned hear / see / taste, so why not include the other two smell and touch

2) if you want to lengthen ur poem then you can always double it by using the same sense twice but different context

Anyways, the bottom-line is i enjoyed it, well done :D
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:iconannabelo0:
Annabelo0 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
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:iconkatie-venerelli:
Katie-Venerelli Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing! <3
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:iconbella-who-1:
Bella-Who-1 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Student Artist
Wow this is so well done. I love your poem!!!
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:iconcandy-yuki:
candy-yuki Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Student Artist
*O* I love this! It's so cool!
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:iconastrogirl123:
AstroGirl123 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is actually quite common in teenagers. This is what one of my friends actually said to me once except for the last two parts. Yep. e3e
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:iconsamlederpmuffin:
SamLeDerpMuffin Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE THIS! This is great!
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:iconracerman56:
racerman56 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Intense...
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
I hear the voices, I see the faces and I taste the poison. Yet, I still don't belong anywhere.
Reply
:iconthechosenonee1:
thechosenonee1 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Student Writer
This is short and simple, but it's awesome ^_^ I love your poems. They're great :)
Reply
:iconkirafaclaws22:
kirafaclaws22 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I can almost continue it...great job, i can really get the feeling of it:)
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