Lying is Bad (A message to myself)Hello darling.Have you ever held a needle to your wrist?Have you ever skipped a meal because you were hungry?Have you ever punched your stomach before falling asleep?Have you ever felt wrong, because you told someone you were okay? (After all, lying is bad.)Have you ever rocked back and forth without realizing, until someone else told you to stop?Have you ever slammed your head against your wall so you might forget your situation?Have you ever cried in a thunderstorm so no one would hear your cries for help?Have you ever worn long sleeves and said it was because you were chilly... then felt horrible? (After all, lying is bad.)Hello darling, I know you have.But remember, you're strong. You're worthy.You're more powerful than your sadness.You are incredible.You have been through more than you know,And fought through more than you know...And you've survived much more than you know.You are going to make it.You are going to push through this.You are going to
Secrets...Secrets are things that people won't tell,Despite the greatest truthsHidden within them.Secrets are things that people lie toCover up,In fear of you finding out what'sReal.Sweetie, here are a few secretsThat I feel must be shared,Because they've been kept forFarTooLong.You are beautiful. You are stronger than your weaknesses.You are unique. You are different. You are perfect.You are not defined by your sadness, nor are you defined by the stereotypes.You are not broken, despite the the scars and missing pieces.You are powerful.Wonderful.Marvelous.You are a fighter.And, darling,I know no one has whisperedThese things to you.But remember,The only things that people won't tell,Are the secrets.And that's because the secrets are true.
Hello Darling.Hello darling.I see you're hiding behind long sleeves.I can see you trying to cover up your "ugly side" with gemstones and lace, with pretty clothes and make up.But, hello darling.You can show me.Hello dear.I see you're pushing away your dinner.I can see you thrusting fingers down your throat into the sink, trying to hide your secret with laughter and smiles.But, hello dear.You can show me.Hello honey.I see you're hiding behind these precious things that the others care so much about.I see you're upset with who you are, in fear that who you are might upset others.I see you're broken, and I see, you're outspoken. You're lost and confused.I see you're trying to hide something.But, hello honey,Hello dear,Hello darling.You can show me.Because I don't care what they say about you.I won't listen.
Writer's block.A thirteen-year-old poet,Whispers frolicking among her tongueAs a ballet dancer across a stage.What to write, oh, what to write… Her fingers wrapped around a pencil,Gently tickling the pageWith a language between herselfAnd her imagination.Thoughts race through her mind,One,Two,Three,Quick!Three,Two,One,Gone.Frozen hands on a silver clockTurning moments intoD r e a d f u l h o u r s .What to write, oh, what to write… Crickets stop their chirping,Birds start to sing.Five thirty in the morning,And not a single word on paper.What to write, oh, what to write… She begins to scribble across the page,Doodles and anything that crosses her mind.Words begin flooding her thoughts,As she wrinkles the paper and grabs a clean sheet.“A thirteen year old poet,Whispers frolicking among her tongueAs a ballet dancer across a stage…"And just as she nears the endOf these words,These messy,Crazy,
Maybe.Fist fights and battles in my headI'll always remember what you said...The day you lied.Glass shattered all over the dirtI'll always remember your last words...The day you died.I could have saved you, love.I should have saved you, love.I would have saved you, love...Then maybe we could both still beAlive.
It's Not Polite To Lie.Hush, sweetie,Do not let their judgments define you.Do not let their hatred construct you.Do not let their words build you.Hush, sweetie,Do not let your sorrow swallow you.Do not let your pain devour you.Do not let your loneliness change you.Hush, sweetie,Stop telling yourself lies,Stop screaming in a whisper that you'reUglyInside and out.Stop telling yourself that you'reWorthless.Stop telling yourself that you'reBroken,And hopeless,And damaged.Hush, sweetie...It's not polite to lie.
Don't be scared, darling.We're going to try something newEating our meals, and swallowing each bite,Not hiding the chewed up remains under our tongue,And not making ourselves vomit through the night.We're going to try something new,Bringing the liquor down from our lips,Not turning to the alcohol for comfort,Until the addiction rips.We're going to try something new,Throwing away the needles, the pins, and the bladesNot searching underneath our skin for emotion,Watching the wounds and the scars fade.We're going to try something new,Darling, I challenge you, I dare you.We're going to try something new...Darling,Why does that scare you?
Think of This..You want to end it?Think of this.You write your suicide note... And you set it on the table.You take your razor, your silver, two inch razor. And you start to slide it across your wrist. You barely feel a thing. After all, the pain of life is more than the pain of the blade.And you take that belt you never wore, the one that was too tight, the one you starved yourself to fit into. And you wrap it once, twice around your neck... and you pull it tight.Barely breathing, you put the ends of the belt on something to hold you up.Something to strangle you.Something to kill you.And you die.And that's the end, right?Wrong.So, so wrong.Your younger brother, the four year old little boy that you loved so much. He walks into your room, only to find you hanging there, lifelessly. Only to find you with dried tears on your pale face. Only to find your suicide note... the one you left right before you died.And so he runs in tears to your mother. And she reads the note, barely able to brea
Gun Within The MirrorIt feels as if my reflectionPoints a gun at its own head,As my bullet shoots the mirrorAnd paints the floor with red,And it feels as if my gunJust isn't steady in my hand,Because darling, when I jump off cliffs,Do you think I always land?It feels as if the razor bladeMight be my only friend,And it feels as if the broken glassMight soon begin to bend,Because my reflection is distorted, love.Can't you see that, love, can't you see?I'm pointing a gun at the mirror,And the mirror points back at me.
Attention Seeker"Attention seeker."As I slide the knife across my tongueThe poison resting in my lungsFighting till the war's been won But you're right, this is all done for fun. The rope around my neck as I pull it tightThe struggles I face as I die to fightAnd slowly, I fade off into a dark night...Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...Dying, breaking, losing sightOf all that's proper, all that's brightWith all my strength and all my might.. I mean, I do this for attention.. right?
And Daddy always lied.My legs are covered in bruisesAnd I have a scar by my left eye.I’m not allowed to smile, thoughAnd I’m not allowed to cry.I think my right arm’s brokenBut shh, don’t tell my dad.He doesn’t like to worry bout meWhen he’s already mad.I have a burn on my left wristFrom when he pushed my armAgainst the stove, the hot, hot stoveAnd did a bit of harm.I have a bear, a teddy bear.He doesn’t have a name.He makes me better every timeI’m feeling hurt and shame.Today, my dad came home kind of lateA beer still in his hand.I closed my eyes and waited.He screamed, he shouted, and…Well, my name is Mary StarrAnd this is how I died.But daddy always loved me.And daddy always lied.
How I SpeakPoetry is how I speak.My communication is weak.Sorry if I don't talk back.Social skills I do lack.No understanding of what to say.Dealing with it everyday.So when I just say nothing,It doesn't mean anything.What to say I'm not sure.My short responses do bore.Only understood when I write.A difference of day and night.Take this as my apology.It's not you. It really is me.
Two Sides to Every StoryCan't believe you're not here. | Can't you see I'm still here?I thought you were my fear. | Being silent is my fear.Now I just want you back. | I'll always have your back.I have to keep this on track. | I will keep it on track.I'm sorry that I hurt you. | I'm sorry that I hurt you.I'm not sure what to do. | I wonder what you'll do.A slight buzz is what I feel. | My thoughts you barely feel.I wonder if you're real. | I promise that I'm real.I'll never forget the pain. | I'm sorry for all the pain.You drove me so insane. | You're not really insane.What if it happens again? | It will never happen again.How can I call you my friend? | You are my closest friend.I just want to be happy. | I want you to be happy.Can I still be me? | Can you accept me?
Catching raindropsLock all your sad clowns in the closetthrow all these broken toys awayHoney, I know you fear the monstersbut never let them block your wayYou lay in bed this cold Novemberand you feel scared and all aloneBut baby, I beg you to rememberif you are loved each place is homeDarling, I'm catching raindrops for yaI'll save them until we meet againJust send me a smile with your next letterand don't you fear, I won't forget...Darling, my news are getting old herebut all I feel remains the sameJust make me proud and never back downand promise me to never changeThis world is just a mass of peoplea thousand stories to be untoldWe’re lost inside the global villagewe're all together, we're still aloneBut even though there's miles between usthe smiles, the tears will never fadeWe’re always there, despite the distancewhenever you need us, just call our name
I wanna..I wanna cut myself, but I don'tI wanna scream, but I don'tI wanna run, but I don'tI wanna lose it all, but I don'tI wanna walk away, but I stayI wanna start over, but I stayI wanna disappear, but I stayI wanna hide, but I stayI wanna cry, but I can'tI wanna fly, but I can'tI wanna fight, but I can'tI wanna take revenge, but I can'tI wanna be who I amI wanna live my life rightI wanna be lovedIsn't that alright?Here I standDon't know what to doI feel so lonelyWithout youI love youI miss youI wanna hug youI wanna kiss youKnow that I'm thinking of youKnow that I'm waiting for youI would give the world to be with youMy love
confessions of a misguided poetcertain things in my mindwould be better left unsaid,such as:i. how I stared at a bottle of pillsfor an hour as if they would slide downmy throat on their own.ii. when I stepped out of the showerwith bloody knees and didn't botherto put a band aid over them. iii. why I can't keep a smile longenough for someone to takemy picture.iv. who I wanted to be when I wasa little girl and who I amright here and now. v. where I tried to jump off abridge and landed in waterdeep enough for me to swim in.vi. what I wanted to scream atyou that day but I just stayedsilent and hoped you would forget.no more pretty words andludicrous metaphorstoday; just life,the truth, and everythingthat I never want to tellanyone else.
Isomnia.To the mocking flash of my cell phone clockThe glitter of morning my closed blinds blockIn a hunch on a chair or a ball on my bedComfortable and comfy but I stay up insteadWith paper and pens and paintbrushes I raiseAnd the stories that unfold on each turning pageYoutube, Facebook, and clicking linksAre the things that keep me from even a blinkRound and round, my thoughts echo and spinClosing my eyes even seems like a sinRedbull, pepsi, and midnight snacksDrinks of sugar in tempting twelve packsThe silence of myself and the embrace of a bookCasting and reeling until sleep's on my hookThey say theres plenty of fish in the seaBut sleep swims deeper than my hook can seeAlone in a dimming desk lamp lightConfronted by morning that stepped through the nightOpen curtains, birds with a morning songIt's a shame I had to wait this long.
Even in agony i still love you....My heart has died tonightMy eyes have been dried outAnd still with all this agonyYou’re all I think aboutOnce again you’ve hurt meWatch as I beg you to returnYet you ignore my pleadsYou stand there and let me burnYou broke my heart to piecesYou burned my hope in lifeShould I even forgive you?Or should I get my knife?You’re all I’ve ever wantedYou’re the reason I’m still here!Why do you keep on hurting me?Why watch me shed a tear!?I thought you were my friend?I thought we could be more….Yet you keep on hurting meRight down to the very core….In the past few monthsYou’ve completely changedYour entire lifeHas been rearrangedAnd during the rearrangingYou’ve thrown out your memoryYou’ve thrown out your lifeAnd you have thrown out meYou don’t need me anymoreAnd although it hurts my heartI knew this day was comingWhen we would grow apartSo even if you hate meEven if you watch me fallPlea
Friendship is...Friendship is...Composure,Awareness,Knowing when to stand down.DevotionAnd sharing,With everyone around.Laughter when it's needed,And serious when it's not,Helping out the world,Before it helps you back.Remembering your promises,But knowing what's too much.Remaining innocent,While staying truthful to friendsThis is what to do.Regardless of where or when.
That one girlShe's that one girl you see with the pencil wovenbetween her skinny fingers She's the one who sits in the cornerinstead of the middle of the room The one who's always last to speakThe one who's words are kept secret to everyonebut herself Always the one who bitesher own tongue She's the girl who's beautifulbut doesn't think the same way She's the one who can't be convincedof the talents she holdsThe flare that ignites the lives of the people around herbut she can't feel the heat for herself She is weighed down by the insecurities she slingsover her shoulders She's unconvinced of her own styleher own special self She's the girl who paintsShe's the girl who drawsShe's the girl who writesBut second guesses every stroke of her brushto every letter she prints Shes that one girl whose eyes display a worldall her ownBut she sees a somber worldstaring back at her She sees