Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconmikkimarie: More from MikkiMarie


Featured in Collections

- Literature - by xDarkShadows

Literature by 12bubbles12


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
August 24, 2013
File Size
903 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,239
Favourites
297 (who?)
Comments
62
×
Drink till you’re dead, little girl,
Slide blades across your flesh until the blood
Stops pouring out.
Swallow the pills that make you
Smile,
Spit out the words that make them
Cry.

Daddy said never play with fire,
But the burns on your skin…
Don’t they feel
Good?
Bathe in your blood,
And write with wounds along your
Wrist,
Carry a nightmare in your
Fist.

Because, now, little girl
You aren't so little anymore.
Bury your butterfly wings
In dirt,
Create a grave for your
Dreams.

Swallow the pills that make you
Smile,
Spit out the words that make them
Cry.

And drink till you’re dead, little girl.
Five minute poem...
I dunno xD Don't hate.
Comments and critiques?? :)

facebook! www.facebook.com/pages/Mikki-M…
Add a Comment:
 
:iconin-the-night-skies:
Hey Mikki,
I've been following you for awhile now but never have I felt like you were telling a story I could clearly see in my mind. This poem is so blatantly true in the world today and I love the simple lines because they hold so much power. I connected to each word you chose and I LOVE the line, "carry a nightmare in your fist."
You are a brave, courageous writer Mikki and that says a lot because most writers pull back and you give us comfort in some ways because you think the way I, and probably many others do too.
Overall, this could be the one piece of literature I will read, that will stick with me and inspire me to keep going. The format was clean and it all worked smoothly together to lead the reader through the struggles and you definitely made an impact on me, for the rest of my life. Great, Great, job Mikki, you saved a life today.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
51 out of 52 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconangelgirlartist:
angelgirlartist Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*claps* Excellent writing
Reply
:iconaugust-skylines:
August-Skylines Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow this was just amazing! I love all your work! Your so inspiring!! <3 :iconsnugplz: :iconslowhugplz:
Reply
:iconnaruxgaara-lxlight:
NaruxGaara-LxLight Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
beautiful... so amazing (:
Reply
:iconlittle-eathquakes:
little-eathquakes Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013
this flows well. Beautiful. 
Reply
:icontracystromberg:
TracyStromberg Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing! A usual!
Reply
:icontaintedvirgo:
TaintedVirgo Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Student General Artist
I just think its so powerful :3 thank you for making something this good that people can read 
Reply
:iconrainbow-emblem:
Rainbow-Emblem Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
a very inspirational poem
;)
especially for a five-minute-one,
i couldn't have thought up those words
Reply
:iconthe-unlikely-poet:
The-Unlikely-Poet Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
A very well written aggressive yet meaningful poem. You have created a very fine piece of work here and you deserve all the credit you get for it. I could see this as a song in a way...it would be a haunting piece of music if it was. But well done I like this very much.
Reply
:iconjinxsixx:
JinxSixx Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I love this <3
Reply
:iconlotusxdragon:
LotusXDragon Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Amazing well done! :love:
Reply
Add a Comment: