literature

His Ballerina

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MikkiMarie's avatar
By
Published:
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Literature Text

A gown of silk, flowing as a stream,
Her footsteps so gentle, perhaps she was a dream,
As he crouches near bushes to glare at the unseen,
And she danced like  ballerina.

Her fingers combed her golden hair,
A perfect lady who didn't care
To see the man that would never dare
To touch a ballerina.

But desire grew, and patience died,
As a lovely girl danced before his eyes,
So he buried his heart, pulled out a knife,
And tickled the ballerina.

She fought his hands, in fear of death,
A dirty blade sinking through her chest,
For he would never settle for something less,
As she screamed,
She cried,
She took her final breath...

And the wind grew calm, barely blowing on the stream.
Her voice so quiet (perhaps it was a dream).
As he closes his eyes, cradling his queen...

His beautiful ballerina.
So yeah. Haha =P creepy stuff man, creepy stuff.

Comments are appreciated <3 Love you all!
© 2014 - 2024 MikkiMarie
Comments26
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dog-on-the-floor's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

it's a beautiful story, i love it. it's unique and strange, without the everyday happy ending.
my suggestion would be to make it more intense. i got a lot of emotion from it, but that could've been because i thought deeply about it while reading it. maybe adding a little more tension or using some more intense language would help the poem live and breath on it's own, without the reader digging for it.
the rhyme and meter pattern worked really well, i love how the whole thing flowed. i also like the ending of ballerina each time for the first few stanzas.
loved it over all, the rhyme and meter pattern are a nice touch, and the story was beautiful.