[x]

I am Me. Who are You?I am thirteen years old.
I am not typical.
I am not average.
I am me.

I have been in two mental facilities.
Both times for thoughts of suicide.
I am not emo.
I am not a freak.
I am me.

My mother attempted suicide about six months ago.
My sister attempted suicide when i was eight.
But, I am not a victim.
I am not tortured.
I am me.

My father had a heart attack just over a week ago.
He was hospitalized for nine days.
He recently returned to the hospital for kidney problems.
I suffer from Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features.
I have hallucinations.
I have delusions.
But I am not a disorder.
I am not my difficulties.
I am not my troubles.

CanvasLet her paint a masterpiece,
Let her paint a lie
Let her paint a word inside the shining silver skies.

Let her paint a mystery,
Let her paint a sin
Let her paint the things that lie in darkness deep within.

Let her paint a masterpiece
(but this time there's a twist)
Make the brush a blade and let the canvas be her wrist...

In a Little Girl's MindThere sits the girl with the things in her eyes
Monsters, destruction, and sweet butterflies
Hopscotch and daisies, surrounded by screams
Beautiful dresses now torn at the seams
Crayons and paintbrushes, villains and grins
Young, gladsome innocence, hatred and sins
Little red houses on roads left to fade
Gorgeous moonlight shining off of the blade
Blood pouring out as she cries her own name
Knowing she's forced to take each bit of blame
She could have stopped it and left it behind
All of these things in her troubled young mind
She could have saved them if she dared to try
Rather, though, she left herself there to die.
Now, others watch as she

What is LoveI won’t pretend to know what love truly is

Love is an irrational feeling
That gives people the excuse to put themselves in painful situations
To be upset over and over again
And so that at the end of the day they can still say they 'love' someone

Love is power
You give someone complete control over you
Give them the key to a part no one else knows
And they seem to throw it away

Love is a delusion
It’s not all who do that
There are the faithful few
But for others
The heartbreak and loss and torment
Comes time and time again.
And every time they hope

Love is fantasy
That the next will have a different ending
The fairy tale sto

Are You?I'm sorry,
that I'm not
beautiful.
I'm not a supermodel.
Are you?

I'm sorry,
that I'm not
funny.
I'm not a comedian.
Are you?

I'm sorry,
that I'm not
mature.
I'm sorry,
that I'm not
talented.
I'm sorry,
that I'm not
good enough
or,
loving enough...
or,
smart enough.

I'm not perfect.

Are you?

Slow Dance“Slow Dance”

With crowded people in a compact room
She feels more than ever alone
In her isolated corner building cocoons
She wished the party had been postponed
At least then she could have found a date
Or something more stylish to wear
Or perhaps even lose some weight
And find time to tease her hair

She observes the people dancing
And can feel the love in the air
But sadly no one is advancing
To this girl in tragic despair
She sees the alcohol to her left
Perhaps she should take a drink
This way her night she could forget
And no longer bother to think
About how miserable she has become
Or how her eyes have lost their glow
Eve

Lost, Little Boy“Lost, Little Boy”

There exists a dazzling forest with glistening
Water flowing down the hill with listening
Ears as if to appear sound and protected
But I know the truth of which none have detected

These waterfalls are a collection of tears
That fall from the eyes over the years
And never dry out but always throughout
Sprinkle the flowers that strengthen and sprout

But this thick air has become too vague to see
Or to breathe or drive through these wounded trees
In which the bark in the dark without a doubt
Grows in arcs and sparks curiosity without
Any idea where to fathom or begin
To search for the missing child buried with

Goodbye, miscarried babyI love the little baby that I never got to hold
The baby that I never got to see.
And maybe, just maybe that baby would love us, too
If only that baby got to be.

I love the little baby that was never able to smile
Never even able to survive.
And maybe that baby would have a life worth living
If only that baby was alive.

And maybe that baby had mommy's blue eyes
And daddy's smile, and grandma's tight hugs.
And honestly, there's no way to describe that little baby
And no way to describe the way it was loved.

One dose of glitterOne dose of glitter can light up the world
One little thought can bring back little girls
Fairies and dragons and strong, worthy knights
One dose of glitter can shine through the night

Hush, little girl, for the stars in the sky
Shining so sweetly like your stunning eyes

Don't let the nightmares define what you'll be
Notice the beauty within every dream

Hush, little girl, there is no need to fight…
One dose of glitter to light up the night.

I am a labelI slid the blade across my wrist
Once
Twice
Again and again.

Maybe I’m an emotional freak.

I cause fights and arguments
Over
And over
Again.

Maybe I’m a troublemaker.

I use make up to make myself seem
Better
And…
Prettier.

Maybe I’m girly.

I complain about things
Even when sometimes
They’re not
That
Bad.

Maybe I’m an attention seeker.

I fall under so many
Stereotypes.

So maybe I am a label.

Or maybe
I’m just me.

IgnoranceShh.
They're listening.
Look behind you.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
In again.
Faster.
Faster.
Stop.
"Are you okay?"
I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
Watching
Staring.
"What's wrong with you?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Freak.
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Do it
Quick.
Now.
Or we'll do the job for you.

"You're crazy."
I know.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
I'm shaking.
I'm dying.
This is how I live.

Save me
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
Save me

"What can I do?

SchizophreniaShh.
They're listening.
Look behind you.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
In again.
Faster.
Faster.
Stop.
"Are you okay?"
I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
Watching
Staring.
"What's wrong with you?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Freak.
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Do it
Quick.
Now.
Or we'll do the job for you.

"You're crazy."
I know.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
I'm shaking.
I'm dying.
This is how I live.

Save me
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
Save me

"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop bein

AsylumWho are you?
Where are you?
What... are you?

The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Trapping you
Drowning you.

Who are you?

Certainly not
yourself.
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.

Where are you?
Certainly not
home.
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.

What are you?
Certainly not
wanted.
Obviously not
needed.

Blood, scars, wounds.
Pain.
Torture.

All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...

I'm clean!I don't cut anymore!
Because I'm checked every night.
I don't even glance at sharp things!
Because my razor was taken away.

I'm sober!
Because there's a lock on the liquor cabinet.
I don't even ask for a taste!
Because I'm not allowed in bars.

I'm off the medication!
Because it was hidden somewhere.
I don't even think about overdose!
Because I'm on antidepressants.

I don't bash my head into the wall!
Because there's a camera in my room.
The blood stains are faded!
Because a professional was hired to get the walls and floor clean.

I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore!
Because I'm on happypills.
I don't even try to kill myse

I'm Fine‎"Are you okay?"
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

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CancerFeel the pain aching through your bones
Your flesh, seemingly fading to dust
Your mind, burning
Your thoughts, racing.
Dying.
Breaking.

"It'll be okay."
No it won't.
"I know."

Fight the tears, your father can't see you cry.
After all
You're a fighter.
Right?

"You can do this."
No, I can't.
"Thank you."

Breathe.
Slower.
Slower.
No.
Faster.
Stop.

Shut up.

You
Can't
Win.

After all
You don't have cancer.

Cancer
Is who you are.

BulimiaThrust your fingers down your throat.
You're ugly.
Fat.
Disgusting.
Horrible.
Wrong.

You're hideous.
No one wants you.
You're a horrible mess, a disaster set before them.
Make yourself thinner.
Make
Yourself
Beautiful.

The models on magazine covers
Thin
Strong
Wonderful.
Why can't you be like them?
Instead you're an ugly, horrifying, sickening mess.

Make yourself pretty.
Make yourself perfect.
Thin.
Skinny.

Make
Yourself
Beautiful.

I Am One Of Jehovah's WitnessesI am a thirteen year old girl.
I am a poet.
I am beautiful in my own way.
I am powerful.
I am unique.
I am special.

I am not crazy.
I am not worthless.
I am not brainwashed.

I am a human being.

I make mistakes. And I admit that.
I cause trouble, sometimes a lot of trouble.
I have a disorder that affects me day to day.
I don't think I'm perfect. In fact, I know I'm not.

I tolerate the ignorance.
I tolerate the pain.
I tolerate the hatred.
I tolerate the disgusted looks.

I accept the fact that I am different.

But can't you accept the fact that we're exactly the same?

I Am SchizophreniaShh.
Don't tell.
Shut up.

Sit there.
And don't
Say
Anything.

"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Turn off the light.
On again.
Off.
"What are you doing?"
Breaking.
Dying.
"Nothing."

Stare.
You can't fight the shadows.
They'll kill you if you tell.
Shut up.

Scream.

Rip your hair out.

Cover your eyes.
Uncover them.
Cover them again.

Lock the door.
But look
Now you're trapped.
Unlock it.
Lock it again.

"What's wrong?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Don't take the medication.
It's poison.
Don't drink the water.
Don't eat your dinner.
Don't sleep.

You
Won't
Survive.

"I don't know you anymore. Who have you become?"
I

Daddy Doesn't RememberHis eyes are empty
More complete than his heart.
A day in the life of a man falling apart.

Caught in a day when he was young
Fighting off the tears and sadness
Now trapped in a life of horror and madness

One day begins, as he looks in the mirror
Unable to make anything seem much clearer

In terror he grabs the gun kept near his bed
With a mess, just a mess, inside his head

Suddenly, a little girl looking up into his eyes
In terror, he shoots, and she lies by him to cry

He lies on the floor, lifeless and cold
When the little girl, about four years old
Holds his hand and smiles to say...
"It's okay Daddy. I loved you anyway."

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I Am, Who Are You?

by ~MikkiMarie, Feb 18, 2013, 1:52:57 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I am thirteen years old.
I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
I am proud.
I am strong.
I am unique.

I am a poet.
I am an artist.
I sing.
I draw.
I create.
I express.

I have Bipolar Disorder.
I have hallucinations.
I have delusions.
I am not crazy.
I am not strange.
I am different.

I am me.
Who are you?

I Am, Who Are You?by ~MikkiMarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This is me.

love 3 3

joy 2 2

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~kelledd Feb 21, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

^{Good for you. I am different too, but in a different way. This is awesome, thank you.}

~MikkiMarie Feb 21, 2013

Thank you so much <3

~angellove94 Feb 21, 2013 Writer

I love who u r!<3 ur fun! <3

~DevLoid Feb 21, 2013

A beautiful writer. You're so talented <3

~MikkiMarie Feb 21, 2013

Aw thanks <3

*GT-Ridel Feb 19, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

I was scrolling down the main page here on DA and I just happened to glimps the words Jehovah's Witness out of the corner of my eye. My heart just about skipped a beat.
I'm always really nervous when I see those words on the net, because you never know what crazy stuff people can come up with to put Witnesses down.
But I am extremely happy to meet another Witness on this site! Especially one who's so proud to be who she is!

*RoyalPhase Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I too am a Jehovahs's witness and I was thrilled to see this poem as well as your comment!

It feels good to know that there are other witnesses around here.

*GT-Ridel Feb 24, 2013 Hobbyist Artist

I agree 110%. It's a real treat to meet both of you! ^__^

*RoyalPhase Feb 24, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Indeed it is!

~MikkiMarie Feb 20, 2013

Aw, I'm so glad!

I agree, people can write some crazy stuff, but oh well, we are who we are,

Nice to meet you!

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