[x]

AnorexiaMeet a girl named No One, with a heart of shattered stone
Staring at the other girl, the one that's not alone
Girl with skin that glistens, with the eyes of crystal seas
Grin of shining diamonds and a laugh like a disease
Flashes just a glance and soon, she's every trouble's cure
She has everything… and No One's off to be like her.

Eating turns into a crime, she'd rather be away
Thrusting fingers down her throat to make herself okay
Watching as her very bones are seen behind her flesh
There she drowns in tears, for she has not yet seen success.

Minutes turn to hours, and these hours turn to days
Every moment slipping, slowly fading

I'm So TiredI'm so tired of crying,
I'm so tired of loving,
I'm so tired of dying
inside my soul each day.

I'm so tired of hoping,
I'm so tired of dreaming,
I'm so tired of imagining.
It will never be real anyway.

I'm so tired of falling,
I'm so tired of failing,
I'm so tired of walking
when love is so far away.

I'm so tired of wishing,
I'm so tired of searching,
I'm so tired of remembering
those beautiful things you used to say.

I'm so tired of bleeding,
I'm so tired of yearning,
I'm so tired of living
in a world that's grey.

But most of all I'm tired,
of being the person I am,
I'm tired of my mistakes,
I'm tired of my broken heart.

I'm just so ti

When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
Tower.
I didn't want to be fought by a
Wicked Witch.
I didn't want
This.

When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
Die.
I didn't want to wear the gown
Temporarily.
I wanted it
Forever.

See,
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
Happily
Ever
After.
But i never expected it to end like this.

DisappearWishing to disappear
never to existed in their mind
no reason to cheer
this is why I was designed
there's a cloud over me and its raining knives
all smiles are faked
no one hears his cry's
as he sits there shivers and shakes
doesn't even try to reach out because there's nothing there
only my own numb stare

no desire to fight the devils wrenches
would anyone notice if I could disappear
because Im starting to feel warm in these trenches
would they even shed a tear?
Sick of the acting
let me compost with the dirt
live????..... ill think Ill be passing
lets make sure this hurts
still wishing to disappear
lets seal this coffin with a drop of b

AsylumWho are you?
Where are you?
What... are you?

The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Trapping you
Drowning you.

Who are you?

Certainly not
yourself.
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.

Where are you?
Certainly not
home.
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.

What are you?
Certainly not
wanted.
Obviously not
needed.

Blood, scars, wounds.
Pain.
Torture.

All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...

I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Stop.
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
"A little."

Punch your own stomach.
Harder.
Harder.
Does it hurt yet?
Yes.
Keep going.
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."

Stare.
Cry.
Scream.
Stop.
Keep staring.
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
"Nothing."

"Emotional freak."
I'm just depressed.
"Sorry."

Stare at your arms.
Your stomach.
Your waist.
Your thighs.
"What are you doing?"
I'm ugly.
"Never mind."

"Attention seeker."
I just have low self esteem.
"I'm sorry."

Cuts.
Scars.
Tears.
Emotions.

"Emo."
"Scene girl."
"Psycho."

I'm just human

I am a labelI slid the blade across my wrist
Once
Twice
Again and again.

Maybe I’m an emotional freak.

I cause fights and arguments
Over
And over
Again.

Maybe I’m a troublemaker.

I use make up to make myself seem
Better
And…
Prettier.

Maybe I’m girly.

I complain about things
Even when sometimes
They’re not
That
Bad.

Maybe I’m an attention seeker.

I fall under so many
Stereotypes.

So maybe I am a label.

Or maybe
I’m just me.

You're Not?You're anorexic if you're thin
You're not? Then you're obese.

If you're different, you're insane
You're not? Then you're a fake.

If you're happy, you're hiding something.
You're not? You must be emo.

If you're dating, you're a slut.
You're not? You must have no friends.

If you're popular, you're a jerk.
You're not? You're a nobody.

If you're quiet, you must be disabled.
You're not? You obnoxious freak.

If you're you, you're wrong.
You're not?
Then you must be perfect.

Stolen from the LightThere was a girl
an innocent girl
until the dark stole her
from the light

And the dark broke her

It washed the colour from her eyes
and replaced the green with gold
Her world bent over backwards
because she no longer saw the light
only the dark

And then everyone shut her out

When she smiled, it was no longer an innocent smile
Nothing could hurt her anymore
Because if it did
She’d hit back

And then the dark toyed with her

She played with men
She played with their minds
until they broke too
She was no longer innocent

And then she gave up a part of herself

She stopped feeling one thing there was left to feel;
guilt
Because she fin

In a Little Girl's MindThere sits the girl with the things in her eyes
Monsters, destruction, and sweet butterflies
Hopscotch and daisies, surrounded by screams
Beautiful dresses now torn at the seams
Crayons and paintbrushes, villains and grins
Young, gladsome innocence, hatred and sins
Little red houses on roads left to fade
Gorgeous moonlight shining off of the blade
Blood pouring out as she cries her own name
Knowing she's forced to take each bit of blame
She could have stopped it and left it behind
All of these things in her troubled young mind
She could have saved them if she dared to try
Rather, though, she left herself there to die.
Now, other

SuicideI'm not okay.
I'm not "free."
I'm not the me,
You think to be me.
I'm falling up,
Into a beautiful sky of blood.
All of it's mine,
Leaving my body,
In a torrential flood.
I want to leave,
Pop those pills.
Join Death,
In roaming the rolling hills.
I want my canvas,
Of blood and skin.
I want my body destroyed,
To commit that beautiful sin.
I want the pain,
The poison and death.
I want that exhilaration,
And loss of breath.
I want to die,
And go away.
So I shall take my life,
Today.

When Your Best is Not Good EnoughDon't speak.
Don't move.
Don't think.
Don't dream.
Don't hold yourself together.
Don't fall apart.
Don't pretend it is all going to be okay.
Don't act like it won't be all right.
Don't touch me.
Don't look away from me.
Don't be so needy.
Don't be so grateful.
Don't act silly.
Don't be so serious.
Don't have so much fun.
Don't be so sullen.
Don't cry.
Don't laugh.
Don't smile.
Don't frown.
Don't love anyone too much.
Don't be so selfish.
Don't ignore me.
Don't love me too much.
Don't breathe.
Don't exist....

And hope? Hope is just a lie you tell yourself so that tomorrow, you can do it all over again.

Me.Anorexic.
Obese.
Funny.
Stupid.
Idiotic.
Retarded.
Lame.
Emo.
Scene.
Slut.
Disgusting.
Attention seeker.
Obsessive.
Label.
Stereotype.
...
Me.

What Happened?I used to think make up
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.

I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.

I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.

I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.

What happened to being
Happy?

I'm tired of it AllI'm tired of being know as
the person with "problems"
I'm tired of being known as
the person with "disabilities"

I'm tired of being a mistake to this world
An unworthy failure in this life
Just because I have these problems
and not many understand them...

I'm tired of being judged
because they don't fully know me
To deal with this pain
and faking it all day long

I'm tired of putting a mask on
I just want to scream to the world
and tell everybody how I truly feel....

I'm tired of living a lie in my life
To pretend that everything is alright
while deep down
I am dying

I'm just tired of dealing with everything
Pretending to have this smile

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Baby, all I ask is that you know you mean it all
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Submitted: January 21
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I'm Fine

by ~MikkiMarie, Jan 21, 2013, 6:08:34 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

"Are you okay?"
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."

I'm Fineby ~MikkiMarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2013 ~MikkiMarie

<3 comments?

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~theZmaster Jun 7, 2013 New member

I've learned how 'to make a mask' as I call it also

Reply

Mood: Love

~LanaT35 Jun 6, 2013 New member

If you had a book, I would really enjoy reading your poetry.

They are sad, but they make me feel better and less alone in my own feelings.

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~emmabeirsack Jun 4, 2013

Awww I is crying its the story of my life

Reply

~Super-Neko-chan May 17, 2013

I love this

Reply

~MikkiMarie May 17, 2013

Thank you!!

Reply

~Super-Neko-chan May 17, 2013

you are so welcome, darling

Reply

Mood: Joy

~SgtSkittle Apr 25, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

damn

Reply

~WolfAtHeartForever Apr 2, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I actually wrote something like this a while ago...[link]

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~MikkiMarie Apr 7, 2013

nice! <3 I based this off one of my mom's poems

Reply

~WolfAtHeartForever Apr 8, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

It's really good!

Reply