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Sometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
All I had to worry about was
If the bubbles I had blown, were about to
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
I began to worry about the day that
My childhood would simply
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that some day,
When I'm sitting with my husband
In the old old house... my days will simply
And that day,
The day when my heartbeat is
The day when my breath
Truly gets taken away.
That's the day
When my worries, my concerns, my fears...
Magic WandDragons fly through poison skies, their whispers in the wind
Ladybugs in black sandcastles, scratches on your skin
Hopscotch over quicksand, and a castle made of dirt
Shining silver crowns and dancing 'round in spinning skirts
Bloody, ruined princesses locked up in towers tall
Watching as the prince quickly begins to fall
Slowly, as the innocence does take her darling life
Please do watch now, as the magic wand becomes a knife...
Love AgainHear my worries, fear my cries
Dread the whispered lullabies
Drown beneath the spinning skies
Feel the truth you can't deny
Taste the blood upon your tongue
Feel the poison fill your lungs
I am she who lies among
Those who know where things belong
Feel the weapons kiss your skin
Listen to the screeching wind
See my power, watch me win…
And never fall in love again…
BridgesKing being murdered upon the throne
Dreams made out of solid stone
Learn to fly and learn to crash
Nightmares in a lightning flash
Life's what you get, not what you earn
It's not the bridges you build, it's the ones that you burn.
CastleCome with me, little girl
Let's watch the rose pedals fall
Let's bury your castle
And put up a brick wall
Lets rip off your butterfly wings
And place them in your grave
The demons have come to get you
You better start to behave
Come with me, little girl
For you can only have the gown for an hour
Do they love you, or love you not,
Ripping pedals off a flower
Come with me, little girl
Let's open your scars
And bury your castle,
In the girl you no longer are...
WafflesSmiling, as the spears sink into your
The excitement. The joy.
Slowly, I slice through you
So slowly, so painfully.
The rush. The power.
And then, suddenly
As if a demand from demons had told me to do it…
I raise the fork to my mouth and take a bite.
Look behind you.
"Are you okay?"
Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
"What's wrong with you?"
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Or we'll do the job for you.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
This is how I live.
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a god
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.
In My MindI like to talk to my best friends
Whenever i'm feeling down.
A precious lick of happiness
From their sweet and lovely sound.
I cry the tears of melancholy
Upon their reliable shoulders
A kiss among my scars
As the night grows colder.
A feeling of pure pulchritude
As our friendship does prove true
Yes, i confide in my best friend
If only you could hear them, too.
We're your friends
And we know you have asthma
And we think it's time you got over it.
Your cerebral palsy is stupid
Why don't you just suck it up
Other people have it worse than you.
You don't really have HIV
You just think you do
If you stop thinking about it, it'll go away.
We've been talking about it
And we think that you're faking your cancer
Stop trying to get attention.
You can't do any of that?
Then stop telling me to do the same about my depression.
GayI'm not broken.
"I can't believe you."
"It shouldn't be like this."
I'm not broken.
"You need to stop!"
"Why don't you want help?"
I'M NOT BROKEN.
"I can't look at you."
"Why won't you act right?"
Stop trying to fix me.
"There's no way it will go away?"
"You need to DO
AloneA dark feeling waves over me.
Right now it's all that I can see.
I look around, but no one's here.
Being alone is my deepest fear.
I try to get out and see what's around.
But not a single friend to be found.
They smile politely, but it's not real.
They don't understand how I feel.
If nothing else at least there's some away.
But when we talk there's nothing to say.
I try to speak, but nobody's there.
I just want someone to show that they care.
My old friendships just seem to die.
I wonder if I should even try.
When I do, I feel so much worse.
This empty feeling is such a curse.
Maybe I should just stop trying.
Maybe that can stop me from crying.
Growing Upit seems that by now I’ve been diagnosed
with a mild case of weightlessness, mindless
drifting past empty homes and the emptier people
that purchased them. I remember conversations
with you about existentialism
and the almost intricate fabric of my mind and
everything in between, and you-- the way you
paused before making a point as
the words defined themselves in your head:
I remember the day I told you I was God.
Creator of all things unimportant, trapped
in the body of a girl with nothing left to give, you
it must be a beautiful place
inside your head, with a world
that revolves around hope and expectations
the way it was supposed to; all
storybook-perfect like the
wars promise we’ll one day
[I’d like to think that every great leader
once cried themselves to sleep wondering
if they’d ever mean anything and
did things to stand out like smoking
or drinking or pretending to be someone
they’re not and every morning they’d tilt
Suicide Is Not An OptionI find myself weaving the final stitches
Of a noose I have been working on for a while
I swore I’d use it by the time it was complete
If me and my sanity hadn’t reconciled
Each thread representing a flawed emotion
Which tightly woven together makes up my life
If you’re the one to cut me down from the rafters
Love, patience and understanding must be your knife
I find myself with a gun in my right hand
With only one bullet left in the cold chamber
I hand the loaded pistol with safety off
Blindly in to the hands of a complete stranger
Does this represent me opening my heart
And risking a life of abject, dismal sorrow
This God given gift of love is worth the risk
And cupid’s bullets can pierce deeper than arrows
I find myself perched on the edge of a cliff
And at this point in time I am feeling unsure
If the wind that’s blowing me towards the verge
Is real or in fact just another metaphor
That is representing all of the worries
Which try to push me to the seas
MirrorI look in the mirror,
and what do I see?
a disgusting reflection
staring back at me.
Perfection and beauty,
I'm simply not the person
whom I want to be.
Flawed and broken,
inside and out;
the truth is that I'm someone
the world can go on without.
this is not a suicide notewhat would change if i left?
would you wear your sadness
like a bullet-- raw and fresh and
slung, chafing, into solemn chambers;
or would you swallow it down
to poison your lungs,
steal your breath & dissolve
the remnants of me?
would you smoke yourself out,
a pyre of anger in one fist
smouldering with resentment--
unfueled but hot and bright and
burning our love to ashes;
or would you hang it,
trailing, coiled around your neck
where it will catch, untenanted,
on shards of me and tighten
to choke you?
would you throw in the towel
and jump, too, unfettered
without my soul;
or would you just breathe butterflies,
an exultation of relief and gratitude?
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor blade
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
FaceNow all I can breathe is this moment
Yesterday seems so far behind
And all I can hear is your crying
And the drums that beat deep inside
Now all I can taste is cotton
Bitterness so sweet on my tongue
And all I can feel is the stone in my chests
That still moves to the hymns that we sung
And now my lips, still chapped and broken
How dare you know me so well
You're the most perfect forever that I'll ever see
A thousand secrets that I'll never tell
Now the tears on my cheeks are frozen
Now shadows bleed from my eyes
And now my days seem so much longer
Because yesterday seems so far behind
Little Red HousesLittle red house on the corner left to fade
Tire swing swaying above a sparkling blade
Silver gown, just for the hour
Starts out sweet then you taste the sour
A little girl's heart doesn't last for long
When a little girl gone right goes horribly wrong
One little fall means blood on the breeze
Little red house with a ghost to please.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More