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Submitted on
June 10, 2013
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Dragons fly through poison skies, their whispers in the wind
Ladybugs in black sandcastles, scratches on your skin
Hopscotch over quicksand, and a castle made of dirt
Shining silver crowns and dancing 'round in spinning skirts

Bloody, ruined princesses locked up in towers tall
Watching as the prince quickly begins to fall
Slowly, as the innocence does take her darling life
Please do watch now, as the magic wand becomes a knife...
I believe I wrote this when I was either eleven or twelve years old.
Either way, I thought I'd post it. :)
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LittleSister102 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Gaah... goosebumps...
BalloonGarden Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student General Artist
You were pretty darn good at writing for that age, imo. :) x)
kiku----honda Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love your imagery! This poem seems to get a new meaning every time I read it... spectacular work!
vellusz Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This only really makes sense to you. You need to be more explicit about how your carefully crafted images are related. It suggests the ruining of childhood dreams, but there are bits which doesn't make such an interpretation possibly inconsistent. Line 2, for example.

Also, use proper punctuation (e.g., "Dragons fly..., their whispers... [,] Ladybugs ...") unless you have a good reason not to. We punctuate because that tells the reader to pause there. And proper punctuation leads to the most natural flow when reading.

Regardless, this is a great effort for someone who was eleven or twelve.

BreeBree135 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Twist ending, like it. :)
Unisis-2-in-1-beauty Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Student General Artist
darkly magical.
awesome, as always.
Tarzok Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
Caro-Kitty Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is so beautiful. I love the dark fairy tale feel.
Ru1n3d Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like this, it's very clever :)
kirafaclaws22 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You wrote that when you were 12!? Holy crap. You've got an incredible gift. I wish my writing was as good as yours.
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