[x]

Bipolar DisorderLook over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
Faster.
Faster.
"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Shut up.
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
Freeze.
Stare.
Laugh.
"What are you doing?"
Dying.
"Nothing."

They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
"What's wrong?"
Please save me.
"Nothing."

Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
Do it.

"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Nothing."

Laugh.

Smile.

Scream.

"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Dis

Five Dads Five Dads

In this life I've had 5 dads

A story behind each one

In this life I've had 5 dads

All of them claimed to call me son

The first couldn't control his urges or desires

So he grabbed a women, and by force I was sired

To this day I look in the mirror,

and I see the scars of his past

I was a child never wanted, it was never meant to last

The second took me in, when I was cast out

He raised me and loved me, till a new wife came about

I guess it goes to show

That with affection you never know

What is real and what is fake

Even if a young boys heart is at stake

The third was a savage, that claimed protection and comfort

So

It BeginsOnce upon a fairy tale within a world so dead
Lies a broken woman with a thought inside her head
Grab the knife and let it sink into your aching skin
Start to feel the pain again and slowly it begins...

RevengeI never laugh.
I never smile.
I never speak.
I am too 'shy'.

What they did to me,
It was too hard.
I wasn't strong enough,
In my heart, it is dark.

I want to see them bleed.
I want to see them cry.
I want to kill them .
Just let me try.

I'm not that weak,
I can do that.
I tell you what's wrong with me,
I am mad.

It makes me happy,
Happy, too see them cry.
I would just laugh at them,
And show them my insane smile.

Yes, maybe I am insane,
One day I'll kill them.
I show them how it is to suffer,
Who's that helpless child then?

They'll all be dead soon.
And they'll see,
see and regret,
everything that they did to me.

I Am SchizophreniaShh.
Don't tell.
Shut up.

Sit there.
And don't
Say
Anything.

"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Turn off the light.
On again.
Off.
"What are you doing?"
Breaking.
Dying.
"Nothing."

Stare.
You can't fight the shadows.
They'll kill you if you tell.
Shut up.

Scream.

Rip your hair out.

Cover your eyes.
Uncover them.
Cover them again.

Lock the door.
But look
Now you're trapped.
Unlock it.
Lock it again.

"What's wrong?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Don't take the medication.
It's poison.
Don't drink the water.
Don't eat your dinner.
Don't sleep.

You
Won't
Survive.

"I don't know you anymore. Who have you become?"
I

Losing a FriendDreams, no.
Nightmares.
Spinning, spiraling, chasing you everywhere you go
"It had to happen."
No, it didn't.
"I know."

Turn off the light.
On again.
Off.
Stop breathing, it's not worth it.
Play a sad song in your head
Faster
Faster
Stop.
"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

I miss you.
I miss your voice
Your eyes
Your smile.
"I'm sorry."
How could you be?
"It's not your fault."

Cry.
Slowly, let it poison you
Let it sink into your mind
The pain
The sorrow
The hate.

"You'll get better."
No I won't.
"It was meant to happen."
No it wasn't.
"He's gone."
No.. he's not.

... "I know."

Love To KillHe whispered in my ear, "Baby can I hug you around the neck?
Your eyes really brighten up when you cry,
Judging by the marks on your wrist you already want to die."

Trying to recover and stop loving you,
But my heart has a mind of its own,
And I can never find better then you.

"You deserve everything that's coming for you.
Everything you do makes me rageful,
I can barely stand to see you breathe.
Now blow me a kiss as you're on your knees."

Each bruise is a mistake, and truly made of love.
I know how his heart of stone really feels,
I just have to mine through the bitterness.

"You won't ever leave,
Don't you know what my dad did to me?
Yo

The PoetThe Poet:

He smiles as he sees her sleeping
& gently covers her with a blanket.
He goes to the window and looks out
watching snow fall, ever so slowly...

He sees people in the streets,
Chatting, walking. Some happy,
Others sad. Hearts beating,
Hearts broken; some warm, some cold.

He looks back at her, as she stirs in bed.
A yawn from her, brings another smile to him:
"How cute," he chuckles as he strokes her head.
He runs his fingers through her hair and is content.

Yet, even if he is happy here, again -
He is drawn to that window and finds himself
Staring out at the street and watching;
Marveling at the disparity and wonderin

Because I Forget     Some broken hearts
  Will love again,
  Some fractured minds
Watch sun-rise, and mend,
  Some happy dreams
Are cherished by friends,

Because you have love,
You will triumph again

Some broken

Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teeth
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Kiss.

Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
Going berserk.

So sharp so
Good
I know I
Could
And really I
Would
Because I
Should.

Arm’s too full of blood
Of scars
From attempts to
Join the stars.

Photo album of
Ruby caresses
My diary of my
Crimson lament
Showing one
Statement;
I am still
Alive.

Chained and ShamedNobody gets it.
I don’t want saving,
I don’t want ”friends”;
I just want all ends
To be met in red.

I hate how plain my skin is,
How it should be painted;
Scarlett.
I’m the addiction’s harlot,
I do as it must dictate
And when it tells me to seal my bloody fate;
I bloody well will.

I’m too full of blood,
I need to let some out.
But know this isn’t a shout
For help;
This is me coping
With how I’m hoping
Nobody’ll care when I go.

Cutting isn’t for attention;
It’s for a brief suspension
Of everything else.
It is mine and I’m its,
It doing as I want
And I its slave

She's Not Your ToyShe's Not Your Toy:

Mmm, it's okay sweetie
Just stay quiet
It'll all be over soon...

Creaking springs and quiet eyes
Cold without emotion
The smell of fear is mixed with sweat
Breath like a churning ocean

The waves and tide will push and pull
as water fills the cave
The heart longs to stop itself
when there is nothing left to save

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Jenna
Happy birthday to you...

A shock of pain brings her back to the present
The muscular form above her contracting in the dark
She remembers now that her limbs are pinned
but she would not move them anyway...

Happy birthday sweeth

Attempted SuicideAttempted Suicide

He asked once, how could she be so selfish?
He asked once, how could she not think of her children?
He asked once, how could she not be aware of the pain she is inflicting?
He asked, how could she do this to me?

I said, that's not how it is.
I said, there is no selfish, there are no others; no children... no you. There is only darkness.
I said, only darkness and pain.
I said, ask her. And she says:

I walk on the edge of an abyss.
But I am ignorant of it.
I am a fool to feel safe. A fool, unaware.
I walk for a while, and everything is okay.
There's a path I follow, it leads straight, it seems wide.
The abyss always loom

Bipolar DisorderLook over your shoulder. They're watching you.
Tighten your stomach muscles.
Bounce your leg up and down.
Faster.
Faster.
"Are you okay?"
No.
"I'm fine."

Shut up.
Don't say anything.
Feel it, feel the thoughts melting from your mind.
Freeze.
Stare.
Laugh.
"What are you doing?"
Dying.
"Nothing."

They're behind you.
Kill them before they kill you.
"What's wrong?"
Please save me.
"Nothing."

Crazy. You're crazy.
No one wants you.
Pull the trigger.
Do it.

"Please tell me what's wrong."
You wouldn't understand.
"Nothing."

Laugh.

Smile.

Scream.

"Who are you? I don't know you anymore."
I'm a nobody.
I am Bipolar Disorder.

... "I don't know.

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Submitted: December 30, 2012
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[x]

Schizophrenia

by ~MikkiMarie, Dec 30, 2012, 6:35:11 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Smile.
Laugh.
Run
Faster.
Faster.
Stop.

"What are you doing?"
Trying to escape.
"Nothing."

Look behind you.
Are they there?
Shh.

Shut up.

Don't.
Say.
Anything.

"What's wrong?"
You'll never understand it.
"Never mind."

Scream.
Scream louder.
Rip your hair out.
Cover your ears.

"Calm down."
I can't.
"I'm sorry."

They want you to die.
They're out for you.
Shut the door.
Lock it.
Unlock it.
Lock it again.
Hide.
Shh.

"Are you okay?"
I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

You'll never make it.
Freeze.
Fall to the ground.
Cry.
Cry harder.

Stop.

"What are you doing?"
Dying.
"What are you going through?"
Torture.
"What's wrong with you?"
Everything.

... "I don't know."

Schizophreniaby ~MikkiMarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~MikkiMarie

I have something close to schizophrenia, but not quite.
I just decided to title it something different than my last poem, about Bipolar xD

Thanks for reading, comment maybe?

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~ChexBear Apr 10, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I love poems like these...

Reply

~MikkiMarie Apr 10, 2013

Thank you <3

Reply

!Dancingtroughthefog Apr 1, 2013 New member

breathtaking

Reply

~Fb-PHE13 Mar 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

This is very captivating! Amazing poem.

Reply

~MikkiMarie Mar 4, 2013

Thank you <3

Reply

~Fb-PHE13 Mar 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Welcome. :3

Reply

~Elenwe12 Mar 1, 2013

Your text is very poignant, intense, captivating...well, I don't really know how to explain myself but it really touched me.

Reply

~Shadestar32 Feb 21, 2013 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Well, I have so much everyone says to be wrong with me, seeing in my last comment about my troubles with not feeling able to make anyone happy or keep them happy, I also suffer from minor schizophrenia, I'll see things that aren't there...

Reply

~AnimewolfRPC Feb 21, 2013 Hobbyist Digital Artist

This explains my thoughts lately...and it's just me. o3o

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!DarknessandSunshine1 Feb 21, 2013 Student General Artist

I have the same, and it's so hard when i hear things and have to pretend I'm not hearing them...

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