[x]

I am a labelI slid the blade across my wrist
Once
Twice
Again and again.

Maybe I’m an emotional freak.

I cause fights and arguments
Over
And over
Again.

Maybe I’m a troublemaker.

I use make up to make myself seem
Better
And…
Prettier.

Maybe I’m girly.

I complain about things
Even when sometimes
They’re not
That
Bad.

Maybe I’m an attention seeker.

I fall under so many
Stereotypes.

So maybe I am a label.

Or maybe
I’m just me.

No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you were
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced

Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead

Dear destructive ten

I Love You, DaddyDaddy, please don't touch me.
It doesn't feel good.
It makes me feel..
Naughty.

Daddy, please don't hit me.
I didn't mean to disappoint you.
When you hit me, it makes me feel...
Bad.

Daddy, please don't hurt her.
Mommy didn't do anything.
When you hit her, it makes me feel..
Mad.

Daddy, please don't say you love me.
I know you're lying.
When you say you still want me, it makes me feel...
Sad.

Daddy, please stop screaming at her.
You already killed her.
When you scream at her, it makes me feel..
Angry.

Daddy, stay there.
Let me sink the knife into your throat.
When you bleed, it makes me feel..
Alive.

Daddy, aren't you happy now?
As you

AsylumWho are you?
Where are you?
What... are you?

The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Trapping you
Drowning you.

Who are you?

Certainly not
yourself.
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.

Where are you?
Certainly not
home.
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.

What are you?
Certainly not
wanted.
Obviously not
needed.

Blood, scars, wounds.
Pain.
Torture.

All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...

The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a god
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.

Goodbye, miscarried babyI love the little baby that I never got to hold
The baby that I never got to see.
And maybe, just maybe that baby would love us, too
If only that baby got to be.

I love the little baby that was never able to smile
Never even able to survive.
And maybe that baby would have a life worth living
If only that baby was alive.

And maybe that baby had mommy's blue eyes
And daddy's smile, and grandma's tight hugs.
And honestly, there's no way to describe that little baby
And no way to describe the way it was loved.

LabelsAttention seeker?
Maybe fighting for acception.
Emo?
Rather, suffering rejection...
Ugly?
Maybe breaking for direction...
Anorexic?
Perhaps dying for correction...
Fake?
Maybe hurting for affection..

So maybe before you label someone just because you don't feel a connection...
Maybe fix yourself before you point out imperfections.

Canvas Is The MirrorA canvas is a mirror
The paint drips down with my reflection
The canvas is my mirror
Maybe imperfect
But only because
The canvas is me.

The canvas is your mirror
As the brush tickles its surface
The canvas is our mirror
Messy
Ugly
And beautiful.

The canvas is a mirror
The depth of the artwork stares back into my
Eyes.
After all, I do not paint a canvas
Because the canvas
Paints
Me.

Words on the WallThe sun melted into the glamorous sky
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.

But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.

Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.

I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.

I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.

She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.

She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see a

Bipolar DisorderI am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
Fourteen human figures without a face… they attack my soul
And everybody’s staring at me without an honest reason.

I am a victim of the people of the world
Who only want to hurt me, and my innocent family
Terrified of the ones around me, even those I love
When a nightmare becomes my reality.

I can’t take a shower without peeking outside the curtain
And I can’t close my eyes when I wash my hair
Because I’m horrified, afraid that when I open them
I’ll see somebody with a bloody face angrily standing ther

Attention Seeker"Attention seeker."
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.

The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?

Let's Play a Game Let's play a game.

I don't like the game we play
But he says we have to.
After all, I am
Daddy's little girl.

Don't move...

I can't.
I'm too sad to move.
I don't like this game.
But I am
Daddy's little girl.

There. Wasn't that nice?

No, Daddy.
I don't like our games...
But I guess I have to
Because I'm
Daddy's little girl.

We can play again later.

I don't want to play later!
I don't. Like. Our. Games.
But I have to play them.
Because I'm
Daddy's little girl.

It's fun. Isn't it?

No daddy...
I don't want to be
Daddy's
Little
Girl.

I'm sick of being
Daddy's little girl
In Daddy's world
With Daddy's games.

Let me grab this knif

So much time, so little to doI have seen the beauty of a dove beneath the skies
I have told the harshest truths, and I have told some lies
I have seen a child cry into its mother's arms
I have been that weeping girl who held onto self-harm

I have heard the laughter of a man about to die
I have seen the anger resting deep within their eyes
I have been the victim of my own disgusting thoughts
I have seen the best of people slowly start to rot

I have felt the heartache; I have seen a love go blue…
So much time is left to spare, but so much less to do…

I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,

"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
thing.”

I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.

But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
a
l
l
?

One dose of glitterOne dose of glitter can light up the world
One little thought can bring back little girls
Fairies and dragons and strong, worthy knights
One dose of glitter can shine through the night

Hush, little girl, for the stars in the sky
Shining so sweetly like your stunning eyes

Don't let the nightmares define what you'll be
Notice the beauty within every dream

Hush, little girl, there is no need to fight…
One dose of glitter to light up the night.

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When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
Tower.
I didn't want to be fought by a
Wicked Witch.
I didn't want
This.

When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
Die.
I didn't want to wear the gown
Temporarily.
I wanted it
Forever.

See,
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
Happily
Ever
After.
But i never expected it to end like this.

RIP Unborn BabyTiny little body
Quiet little heartbeats.
See this little pea? That's how big you are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.

Little fingers start to grow
out of tiny little hands.
See this little peanut? That's how big you are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.

Your tiny legs start to grow
out of your sweet little body.
See this little pencil tip? That's how big your footprints are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.

But, surprise!
"I'm pregnant."

Suddenly, tragedy.
Weak little heartbeat.
Weak little baby.
See these smiles on our faces? That's how loved you are right now.
But you don't know that yet.

Gone little he

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Schizophrenia

by ~MikkiMarie, Feb 22, 2013, 9:58:08 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Shh.
They're listening.
Look behind you.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
In again.
Faster.
Faster.
Stop.
"Are you okay?"
I'm dying.
"I'm fine."

Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
Watching
Staring.
"What's wrong with you?"
Everything.
"Nothing."

Freak.
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Do it
Quick.
Now.
Or we'll do the job for you.

"You're crazy."
I know.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
I'm shaking.
I'm dying.
This is how I live.

Save me
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
Save me

"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
Evil
Cruel.

..."Nothing."

Schizophreniaby ~MikkiMarie

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

<3 i'm so sorry if it's inaccurate.. I really do apologize...
please comment and critique!

Critique by ~peaceofthemoon Feb 23, 2013, 6:15:57 AM

I think you did a pretty good job on the description of the hallucinations; it matches the descriptions my Mom (Mastersdegreeinpsychology) and the DSM IV TR have given. Now that I've covered the -what I think is- accuracy; I believe you could have done better with the imagery. You use a lot of generalizations, which we all know is a very dangerous thing to do in poetry if the generalizations are -exactly- what we need. So I advise you to try and elaborate on the hallucinations and the feeling of not being understood because of ignorance. Maybe you need to try to immerse yourself deeper into the schizophrenics point of view. That'll boost vision and impact.
Now on the grammar, I notice you're using capitals at the beginning of every line. That's sorta okay because you're using punctation, but some lines are the continuation of the last. Which means you don't have to capitalize the beginning of every line. (It's okay, I have the same problem) Now, if you don't want to worry about the capitalization and punctation, do nothing but make sure the spelling is okay and the flow on paper(webpage) too. That'll boost technique.
I do wonder what or who you are writing this for. Is it a loved one? A friend? Or something you've noticed and have a problem with?

What do you think?

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~dahmii May 14, 2013 New member Hobbyist Writer

deep

~xXCarolineFirelilyXx May 9, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Very powerful. I loved it.

=miyu713 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

This is stunning poem! You did a wonderful job!

~MikkiMarie Feb 24, 2013

Thanks! <3

~Elizabeth-R-12345 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Great job~I think this was very well written, but I imagine, in the 4th stanza, the last line, putting "I'm living" in instead of 'This is how I live' would fit there better. As in, this is how I'm living or basically substituting as just another saying of 'This is how I live'. That's just me though. Again, great job~!

~MikkiMarie Feb 24, 2013

thanks so much for the critique

~Elizabeth-R-12345 Feb 24, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

No problem.

~SereneNighingale Feb 23, 2013 Student General Artist

Your poem actually captured my thoughts. I looked at this and I was wondering what you were doing in my mind, stealing my words.

People sometimes don't seem to understand and they brush it off as an "over-active imagination" or as stress. Of course, there are other odd things occurring at the same time since all of this started, and it involves my close friends. I told them, a few were skeptical, others understood.

What really pisses me off is when people think that I'm doing it for attention. When they face the terror I face every night when the shadows morph their way around my room, teasing me, taunting me, they can put their input on it.

/end rant

Sorry about that. ^_^" Good poem. Hit a few heartstrings of mine.

~MikkiMarie Feb 23, 2013

I'm sorry

thank you so much though!!

~SereneNighingale Feb 23, 2013 Student General Artist

You're welcome.

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