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"People who kill themselves are selfish."

Well, darling, let me tell you a story,
A story all too true.

A daughter who became a wife, a wife who became a mother.
A mother of three girls...
One just above the age of a toddler,
One at the age of twelve,
And one entering the life of a married adult.

Now, the youngest girl was watching television,
And the oldest at the neighbor's home.

The twelve year old daughter sat at a computer with her closest friend,
When something terrifying happened.

Her mother was in the kitchen, coughing.
The daughter, although unable to see her mother, only could imagine the situation.

The mother walked calmly past the daughter with tears rushing down her face,
And up the stairs she went,
Into her bedroom...
Locking the door behind her.

The daughter, hearing the door lock, didn't bother to check on her mother.
She decided to expect and hope for the best.

Five, maybe ten minutes passed, the daughter still sitting at the computer,
When the mother stumbled down the stairs.
The daughter panicked, as any daughter would.
"Mom," she said. "Did you take pills?"
A few seconds passed before a response.


The daughter demanded her friend to dial 911,
And so the friend did, her hands shaking and struggling to press the numbers.

The daughter and the friend quickly explained the situation.

"The ambulance will be there soon."

The daughter rushed to her mother, who was now collapsed on the floor,
And tried to hold her up, tried to keep her awake.

Minutes passed before the ambulance had arrived.
By that time, the youngest daughter had walked into the kitchen,
Only to find her mother on the floor.
"What happened to mommy?" she cried.

The oldest daughter, seeing the lights of the ambulance, ran into the house.
"What happened?" She screamed, her voice shaking.

The paramedics opened the door, and immediately asked...
"What happened to your mother?"

The twelve year old daughter, the one who witnessed it all,
Spoke in a trembling voice,
Explaining the situation.

People began to ask the mother...

... "I didn't want to bother her anymore."
Yes, this is a true story. Yes, I was the twelve year old daughter. Yes, this is about my mother. Yes, she is still alive.

Thought I would let you guys know... suicide is not a selfish act. In this case, my mother attempted suicide BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR OTHERS.

However, let me say this. 
Suicide eliminates all possibility of anything ever getting better.
I love you guys more than anything.
And remember...

Stay Strong, I'm always here for every one of you. Please remember, you can note me if anything is ever wrong.

Stay beautiful! <3
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ohmygoskjackfrost Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
how tragic...
belarusian Featured By Owner Edited Feb 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No no, please i have a huge rant about this on my page, please read it.
DragonessHeart Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad someone understands that suicide isn't selfish, we're doing it for others...Sad dummy 
RejectedBandGeek Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014
thanks for posting this...I'm glad to hear your mom is okay.
evillionblaze Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is literally, one of the saddest stories i have ever read....  My worst nightmare lived by another....    Suicide is NOT selfish, people who think that are, just.... nevermind. anyways, i'm glad you you and your mother are alright.   
XxSwagmaster9000xX Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014
goddessofownage Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry but people's ignorance get me so angry. For one thing how dare they call the people who killed themselves "selfish". I find it strange because they only want the victim to survive for others, but what about the victims themselves? Don't you think that's ironic? It's like they don't care about the person who is REALLY suffering. One time, this kid in my class called a girl selfish for killing herself and I was so close to going off on him! Anyway, I'm glad you're mother is alive and okay now, I hope she's getting better.
bigmeanrooster Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
Wow how come you haven't written anything new
lilmegs17 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014
It never helps anyone though. My dad killed himself when I was 3. everything became harder for everyone involved. I know that sometimes it seems like there is no way out but then just keep searching... there has to be a better answer somewhere. Thank u for this
CreeppingDeath Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thanks so much for posting this, i'm myself attempted suicide several times because of the pain of a depressive illness. I hope your mother's getting better 

Anyone who thinks attempting suicide is "selfish" or a "cowards way" is a sh*t and a lowlife. Fuck you, you have no idea what it's like!

Diomedeez Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Stay strong, even though we don't know you, everyone here is thinking of you!
CreeppingDeath Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you SO much dear friend! 
Diomedeez Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist…   This video was made by a internet review before he committed suicide yesterday, whatever you're going through, I hope this helps you, and even though he did commit suicide that you don't have to take the same path, because people care about you.  Even though we don't know you, we care.
CreeppingDeath Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Gosh that was intense, so painful to watch someone and to know he's gone... I hope the guy in a better place now

Thanks a lot for your support
Diomedeez Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are truly welcome my friend.
KawaiiShootingStar Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014
I cried... ;.; This is truly amazing. And I'm glad to hear your mother's alive... ^^
SkiraReed Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
When I read this I had to cry.
I'm not a mother yet I don't even know If I'll ever want to be a mother.
But the sad thing is, I feel like I could do the same thing as your mother did.
And I'm afraid.
snowflower2097 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I got so mad at home that I wanted to kill myself. I put a knife against my throat when neither of my parents were home. I put down the knife after I thought about how bad it is to die.
Noxulf Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ecal55 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013
when thinking about suicide, do extreme stuff, do things u normally would not do, be the voice of ur generation, be colourful, in the edge, take lsd, weed, not cocaine or heroin, they make it worst.
Esurio Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
This definitely touches a cord with me. I'm so glad your mother made it through and I hope you're both doing well now. When I was twelve, spending the night in my older sister's bed, I couldn't wake her up in the morning. She had taken a full bottle of sleeping pills. She didn't make it. I've had many people over the years get angry on my behalf--angry that she did it at all, angry that she ensured I would be the one to find her when I was so young and loved her so much. They've called her selfish, called her a coward, called my crazy for never getting mad at her.
Well, it's not that fucking simple. Yes, it messed me up pretty bad until I got serious help. Yes, it devastated my family. But suicide is not a simple thing. April was sixteen, clinically depressed, and three days before she took those pills her birth mother, who she had searched years for, told her to her face that she was a mistake. Her birth mother told her that she never wanted to see her again.
We didn't learn of this until much later, and had no idea how bad things had really gotten for April, mentally and emotionally.
StrandedTal Featured By Owner May 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your story touched me deeply... I hope I will not forget this.
Student2 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
Uh Bloody-Chivalry... uh no need to be an angry nut about this story ... not sure who you are ranting at but if it is the writer then this is a personal reflect, idea, belief and opinion of need to be a bloody rude ass about it and yes everyone has a choice to live or die... this ladies mum also had that choice and she chose the path of death for her own reasons that's her prerogative not yours so calm that temper of yours. I'm not promoting suicide I am just saying calm the bloody hell down.
Bloody-Chivalry Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Go fuck yourself its there choice to live or die, they owe you nothing.
Skylord-Rosie Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Dude, did you just read the title alone? Look at the writing. Look at the description. Calm down and see what a fool you're making of yourself by literally reading this book by its cover.
pokemonsonic345 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
To everyone saying that suicide is selfish. I implore you to remember one thing. People who attempt or succeed at taking their lives are MENTALLY ILL!

And also, to anyone saying that suicide is cowardly, that is selfish, arrogant, dismissive, and insulting. Not everyone was in the same situation, or has the same amount of mental fortitude as you. I attempted to take my own life two years back, because I was bullied day in day out and it never stopped. I did not, but not everyone in the same situation would have. Mental fortitude varies from person to person, as do the circumstances, which makes calling suicide selfish or cowardly, at least in my case, makes you seem arrogant and rude.

Alright personal rant over.
CreeppingDeath Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
morcanthius Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Maybe suicide is selfish.

But making people stay alive when their lives are absolutely miserable just so you can feel comforted is selfish too.

WildCatSaborFang Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013
Glad you got help to her. Ive had suicidal thoughts before but when they come i think to myself no im not gona kill myself i have a family and friends that love me and dreams i want to acomplish. i use to have to meditate on that untill those thoughts and feelings passed. now also i know thats not what i really want and i love my family. also listening to evanescence tournacit helped me to see the truth of what suicide does-the singer also describes a lot about the way i felt in many other evanecence songs.
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013   General Artist
Shugo7 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013
It's not selfishness it's depression, emotion,anger, and sadness all in one the only way out for them is death they don't seek out help cuz they can't find help. Your the selfish one for writing this true or not your selfishness makes those that committed suicide look bad when all they were was needing someone to help them.
kato42 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013
Suicide is complicated.

What pisses me off is when someone is miserable, they have spent all their life unhappy, and they just want the pain to stop.  No one they know understands, and in fact doesn't want to hear about it because its too depressing.  Instead they just tell the person to be happy, like that will somehow make it better - yeah, try that with cancer some time "stop dying of cancer!"  See how well it works.

In fact it makes it worse.  Its that easy for you?  You can just be happy because you want to be?  They can't, and that makes the fact that they aren't happy even worse.  There is something wrong, and there is nothing that can be done.

Pills!  Take lots of pills!  You'll be all better then!  Yeah... that's the modern way.  And maybe it helps.  Maybe.  But even if it does, it probably only makes things bearable, not good.  And the depression, its not gone.  Its always there, its always ready to come out, it just needs an excuse.  And that's to say nothing of side effects, which can be buckets of fun in their own right.

No one wants to spend much time with the person because they aren't upbeat, dating is at best extremely difficult because the person isn't upbeat or exciting or whatever.  So the person is unhappy, miserable, and very very alone.

But they keep living because its expected of them.  Their family, what few friends they manage to have, the person keeps living just because others demand it.  People tell them it would be selfish to commit suicide.  Perhaps it would be.  But how selfish is it to demand another person continue to suffer just so they don't have to deal with that person dying today?

Everybody dies.  Eventually.  You have to deal with it, eventually.  You don't want to deal with the person being unhappy, you don't want to deal with the person dying (probably because you'd feel guilty that you never did much to help them when they were alive), no, you demand the unhappy person stay alive and turn it around to make it the other person's fault.  They must continue to suffer simply so you can delay a brief period of grief.

And then you claim you'd swap lives with them?  HA!  That person has spent all their life dealing with it, they at least can.  It sucks, but they can.  You'd kill yourself inside a week if you had their life.  You've spent much of your life happy, now imagine never being happy again, and ask yourself if that sounds like something you would trade your life for?

That is what pisses me off.  Self righteous assholes that dismiss emotional problems as imaginary or whatever, simply because they don't have them.  And then claim some moral superiority because they don't have a desire to end their lives because their lives don't SUCK.
yami-joey Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013  Student General Artist
Birishimi Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
holy crap. something like that happened when i was 10 or 11 ish. the day of my birthday my parents started fighting for whoever knows what, and I had to spend the night at my cousins house. it wasn't safe at my house. the next day, my mother ALMOST commit suicide. i remember she told me, ''stay on the computer, play my games.'' my little sister who was 7 at the time, said she wanted to take care of my mother, and went in her room.
i didn't hear anything, and my sister ran out saying,"mommy's dead!''
my dad was continuously calling the house because he wanted to yell at my mom more or something. but i got on the phone and told him what happened. he called my uncle and aunt to come over and take care of the situation, and I took mys sister to my cousins house. we stayed there for hours.  when my mother could sit up, my father took us to his house for the night.

I was so young...
xcaten Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013
Suicide is a stupid thing to discuss. I'm not calling this topic or story stupid - but people have different opinions on the matter; mostly because of different experiences. Don't think your opinion is more right than others; and don't judge them because they believe something else.
HoneyBunchesAndOats Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
How would killing oneself make anything easier? A family friend has terminal cancer. My grandmother died of cancer when I was two and I wish every day that I could talk to her and find out what she knew. 

Our family friend would definitely wish to switch bodies with someone who is healthy and live longer, she's not even 50. 

My Oma (German for grandmother) even said after someone in her community tried to kill herself she would've loved to have switched bodies. She survived the bombing of Berlin and a husband that was literally a Nazi, 12th SS Hitlerjugend.

Tell me, how is that not selfish then? Don't deny "selfish". Say neurological disorder, say depression, say something else. Anything else. 
Princesaylala Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Imagine it like this- Everyone has some armour overtop of their chest. Some people have armour made out of steel, some made out of gold, and some made out of tinfoil. Sometimes- people don't have that armour though. Some people have holes in their chest which makes everything precious vulnerable to the world.

Now people get these holes from other people. They rip off their armour bit by bit until all that's left is skin. Sometimes they leave. Sometimes they begin to rip that skin. Of course the people being ripped try to stop. They struggle and scream- but people wearing armour walk by as if nothing's going on. People in their skin walk by as if nothing is going on because if they raise their voice the things they value will be torn down.

Sometimes after ripping open a hole, that person leaves. Other times they don't. Sometimes they rip out the heart. Imagine a gay child being tormented to the point of committing suicide. They destroyed that person. They killed that child. That is one version of suicide.

When they do leave, that person has three options. 

They try to fix it. Patch up the hole, fix it and try to move on. Of course it's always going to be painful. That's not going to stop. But they hope one day that the skin will grow back. 

Others try to fill that hole. With family, friends, animals, and things. They shove more and more things into that hole in order to fix it. It's not the same though. It's far more painful, far more miserable. They can't find that first option anymore. They've asked for help. They've been called selfish. They've been called insane. So when nothing helps, when they begin to feel nothing, they know it's time to go. Sometimes this middle option gets lucky- someone comes alongs to help them. 

Finally, the last option. They are broken to the point where the numbness is comforting. Where this is what they know- and it's no way to live. They battle with themselves every moment of the day. Can you even begin to imagine what it truly feels like? Imagine nothing. Most people can't. It's not warm, nor cold. Even in the happiest of moments- you feel nothing. You can't dance to the music because you can't feel it. There's no hunger, no thirst, no fullness. It's nothing. It's suffocating with an oxygen tank strapped to your face. They want help- of course they do. But refusal, but being called a monster stops their asking. Their hoping. The only thing that had to live for was to get better. And they know they won't.

It's not about other people when someone commits suicide truly.It's about getting better. It's about the only way they can get better without someone reaching inside that hole and ripping the rest out. They don't want to bother other people because they will be judged. Just like you just judged me.

You have no idea who I am, do you? But you say that people who commit suicide are selfish. My first attempt was when I was 8 years old. Popped too many pills on purpose. Because I wanted to get better. Because the psychologist told me that I was disgusting and selfish. I was 8 and I wanted to die because I was a monster. 

Call it selfish if you like. I hope you never have your amour ripped off and your heart damaged. I hope you live your life fully and happily. I don't want anyone else to live the way I have to because someone picked me to destroy.

P.S Sorry for the long post! :)
pokemonsonic345 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
A psychologist told you that you were selfish and disgusting? What?

Princesaylala Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah. I was... around 8. First attempt, and I swallowed a bunch of pills. Obviously, I survived, and stayed at the hospital. Afterwards, I went to a psychologist because... You know. They make you. She told me that what I did was disgusting and that I should be ashamed of myself. That God didn't love selfish people. That I should go to church because I wasn't good. 

My parents were Catholics-very strong believers in that shit, and they took me to a Catholic Hospital. The woman was catholic, and started ranting about how wrong and disgusting I was because I attempting suicide. It only fucked me up more.
pokemonsonic345 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The Christian Counsler my parents sent me to after I tried to cut my neck open said the same things to me. 
Princesaylala Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I'm not surprised. I think that when dealing with Mental health, religion needs to stay as far away from it as possible. :( It doesn't help. If anything- it makes it worse
pokemonsonic345 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

I just kept being told to pray about my issues, but that didn't help. 
Princesaylala Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Oh god- I was told that my problems would be solved if I prayed enough. I think it was at that point that I just kinda... realized my problem, ya know? If I prayed- what would happen? Nothing. I went to a Catholic school, my parents were catholic. I prayed at least five times a day. 

I converted to Wicca when I was 12- (secretly, of course), and it helped. Not because I prayed, not because of the religion itself- but because of the people who surrounded me. They wanted to help. As a human being with other human beings. People I could talk to when things got bad in my head. They didn't judge me and tell me that what I was feeling was disgusting, and that I would be... okay. :) 

(1 Reply)
KiraIceAngel Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
well, it is a good thing your mother is still alive.
gwPickins Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My family "wrote me off" after forty nine years and 364 days, one day before the fiftieth anniversary of when  I married their mother. I was 72 at that time and had a lot of crazy thoughts, I did not give up. I made it my driving force, to redouble my efforts to survive, like a man. Two years later, I met a new Lady who gave me Love like I had never known, before. Eight years later, My Wife died. I tried to marry my new Lady, She refused. She was sick with Leukemia and died one year later, in my arms. Once again, I had to run away from THE crushed love of my life at 81 years of age. One year later,I  met a lady and bought a Home in south Florida. Two years later, We were married and now, after five years, I am 88 with a beautiful wife, a step son, two Grand step sons, one about to be married and go into the Air Force, one 14  and so promising. I could have stopped all this Sixteen Years Ago.   
LeLe37 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This makes me feel better. My new roommates and I got into a big argument and they screamed at for being selfish when I told them I don't talk much because I don't want anybody affected by my depression.

And I believed them..

Now I know I don't have to.
derpychan14 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

I am glad to know that your mother lived.

You are truly strong for sharing this.

SecretGeek87 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist I'm so sorry. I couldn't imagine going through that. Kudos for being so strong!
storystosee Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

a boy in my class said that once. if it hadn't been for the ten meters that separated us, I would have slapped him, hard. if he ever dares saying such a thing again, I don't care how many yards he's away, I'm going to kick his ass

But for more important matters: I love you artwork. And I'm really sorry you, your mother and the rest of your family had to go through this.

gps245gps245 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
Oh I wish I had your bravery my emotional heart goes out to you if only one day I could put my true feelings down, I have spent the last 14 years attempting suicide myself two or three times a year. No one  can truly understand just how day to day life is a nightmare. Thank you for your honesty. gps245
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