Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconmikkimarie: More from MikkiMarie


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
September 10, 2013
File Size
788 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
8,328 (1 today)
Favourites
1,012 (who?)
Comments
292
×
You are so much stronger than suicide.
You are so much more powerful than the cuts on your arm,
And so much better than your eating disorder.
So much more than your scars.

Darling,
Please look me in the eyes,
And show me your wounds,
Whether they be on your forearm,
Your wrist,
Your mind,
Or your heart.

Sweetheart,
Have you been skipping meals?
Have you been cutting?
Well, here’s something for you to try.

Think one thing,
Just one thing,
Every
Single
Day.

Just remember to prove to the world,
That you
Are stronger than
Suicide.
YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER <3
I promise.
Love yourself, because no one else is like you.
And if you EVER need ANYONE to talk to..
I AM HERE FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

Love you guys. <3

My facebook : www.facebook.com/pages/Mikki-M…
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsammyxfreak:
this poem hits home with me because I have experienced all of the things mentioned in the poem on both sides. my dad said these things to me. I like the directness although I think some metaphors and similes would have made it better. it has a great message to it. I like the rhythm and the voice to it, and was pretty easy to read. I love it when it goes:Darling,
Please look me in the eyes,
And show me your wounds,
Whether they be on your forearm,
Your wrist,
Your mind,
Or your heart


it is somewhat similar to my own writing style, and it emphasizes the message. again, it is a pretty good poem, with a great message. keep up the good work!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
22 out of 25 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconphoenixs-designs:
Critique by Phoenixs-Designs Sep 10, 2013, 5:35:51 PM
This is such a moving poem, it gives so many people a little tilt of the head, and it brings hope. It can relate to all, simply depressed, suicidal, or even the content, giving people the feeling of hope and courage. I wish it had been a little bit longer, but it got where it needed to go, and hit the point spot on, giving us all that internal feeling. The word choice was creative, yet simple, and the stanza organization was very good.

Sadly, though, I'll be quite frank, it's not going to make too much of a difference for people already there. It's great, but so many people today... won't get it.

Bravo!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
20 out of 23 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconsoul-reader:
Soul-Reader Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014   Writer
You have been featured! :heart: 
Reply
:iconevettejo:
evettejo Featured By Owner May 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful, simplistic. It's just wonderful that you care so much about your followers. When someone is in that state, they really do need someone to reach out to.
Reply
:iconspiret123:
spiret123 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Beautiful<3
Reply
:iconnightshadowcandream:
NightShadowCanDream Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
It´s beautiful. This has give me hope sometimes.Thank you :)
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013

I hope you appreciate honest critique, because that’s what I’m going to give. I’m not at all impressed with this piece. For one thing, it’s simplistic—it trivializes suicide, making it into some little obstacle one has to get past, almost like a road block, and it’s nothing like that. People don’t commit suicide because they’re weak, they commit suicide because they have a bug in their head eating away every positive thought they have. They have a rain cloud over them that absolutely refuses to go away. When I was at my most suicidal, I was unreachable. You could tell me I was stronger than suicide a hundred times over and it wouldn’t matter, I’d still want to kill myself… because my problem was not strength, my problem was how I perceived myself, and how I perceived the world. 


Secondly, it doesn’t have much depth or make much sense. Why should you care if I commit suicide? Why should I look you in the eyes and show you my wounds? Who are you to me or me to you? And why do you automatically assume that suicidal people cut or have an eating disorder? While there certainly are some who do, suicide is much more complex and encompassing then that. Anyone can consider it, even people with seemingly happy lives and everything to live for.


Thirdly, you don’t offer any explanation as to why people should choose life over death. What makes life inherently preferable? Basically, you’ve told me to live but haven’t given me any real reason as to why, other than “suicide is weak.” Which isn’t even true, but even if it was, so what? That’s not enough ground to stand on.


Suicide is a very personal issue. It can’t be trivialized. It can’t be twisted with assumptions and guilt trips and childish sentiments. And it can’t be summed up in a simplistic poem.    

Reply
:iconfreak-with-issues:
Freak-With-Issues Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student General Artist
I wanted to respond because I felt a lot of hostility from this post and I wanted to respond with an outside opinion as to possibly why the writer wrote this way and how it could be beneficial to some people. 

You first point out that you think the author is simplifying the issue and it can be interpreted that way, but I get the sense that the author was using self harm and eating disorders as reasons for suicide because those are highly common reasons for suicide in modern society as sad as that is. The message from this piece is meant to be a outreach poem to those struggling, so by picking issues that are commonly struggled with the author can identify with a larger crowd. It's also very understandable that just words cannot make the difference to some people and you use yourself as an example, but there are people who just need to be reminded they are stronger then suicide. 

When you ask about why you should feel enough familiarity to the author to reveal your troubles, I can see that you are focusing on the idea that the author does not have the right/need to have access to your personal information. I'd just like to tell you that while you aren't so open to sharing (which is completely understandable that if you have enough troubles to want to end your life that you wouldn't be very trusting to a stranger) there are people that are comforted merely by the idea that someone wants to shoulder their burden alongside them as well as the ability to share their problem with another. On the idea that the author assumes all people who are suicidal either self harm or have an eating disorder, I again believe it's just to help a largely struggling group of people identify with this piece. 

On your final idea that the author doesn't give a reason to live, the idea that one is stronger than suicide seems to be the tool and reason for living. It can be interpreted that the author is saying you are 'strong' (I hesitate to use that word since the inverse can be assumed by some) enough to fight through your troubles so don't give up. You also interpret the author is implying the inverse of being stronger than suicide is being weaker than suicide, which is fully plausible. Another way to see it, however, is that the strength isn't the failure to be weak, but instead the ability to overcome a great task. 

Your closing statement seems to fully be your beliefs which I can't agree or disagree with, but I don't believe the author had any ill will. Overall I in no way mean to offend, I just wanted to explain another way people can take this piece that would help them giving this poem a positive and useful purpose. I hope for the best for you in being able to stay away from the trouble of suicidal thoughts and actions. Have a lovely day. 
Reply
:iconstrelnikov72:
Strelnikov72 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. And I really needed to see this right now. Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconask-the-company:
Ask-The-Company Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ive been reading through your gallery now , and I want to thank you for writing these things. Ive been bullied , depressed suicidal and I've had eating disorders and I have a horrible relationship with my dad and trust issues. These texts reminds me and helps me to remember why Im alive , cause Im not gonna give in , I want to be strong and happy be able to live my life and one day maybe even find my other part. Your texts mean so much for so many people. Thank you so much for pushing me even more to start eating healthy and as much as I need , for making me feel like I can take that step and talk to my mother about my feelings , for making me feel like I am really worth something. I have been close to writing suicide notes so many times , but people like you and my two friends are what keeps me going , what keeps me from the knifes and pills and ropes. Again Thank you. It means a lot.

Felicia~
Reply
:iconfan-tan-chan:
Fan-Tan-Chan Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks, just thank you so much :) I was depressed, once upon a time, and nobody really gives anyone the 'right' kind of encouragement in modern society. But this... This was beautiful. Your work is the words that people NEED to and SHOULD hear. I will show this to my friends :)
Reply
:iconblack-flame1826:
Black-flame1826 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
can I post this on my thingy ill credit you
Reply
Add a Comment: