Summary:

Okay, I was honestly hoping for a better poem. This, with all due respect, is... how would I put it? Oh, I know, "A large pile of overused ideas and desperate attempts to make people feel sad." I like the morbid aspect of it and I'm a fan of freeverse aswell. But the girl in this (who was heavily implied to be a girl) really angered me and she seemed so half-witted and cynical.

Originality:

This has to be the worst rating of Originality I have ever given, and I'm usually generous on this rating in particular. But this, this poem is so horrible. I mean it's a pissed off, depressed girl cutting herself and calling herself ugly. GEE, haven't seen that before.

I'm a masochist, I've also been suicidal. This is garbage compared to the real thing.

Technique:

While I said I was a fan of freeverse, you're technique was still pretty cheesy in my aspect. You're constantly using quotation marks and at the end you just decide to make one of the paragraphs (I'm not very familiar with poetic terms) 2 lines. Then on the last one you use 2 periods and the first line was just "Ha" with every other line is quite long.

I suggest staying consistent unless you specialize in making poems loopy and such (Which, with obvious details, this one is not suppose to be.)

Impact:

The way the poem is written, I'm guessing multiple people asked her. That's so unrealistic or else she's just an attention seeker. Most cutters won't let people know they cut, especially if they do it because they feel ugly and embarrassing.

Vision:

The vision in particular was actually fairly good. I did like how you describe the situations in this and I felt as I could see it a lot better. I really do get a depressed vibe off of this.

What I think could have made it better:

Next time, maybe you should do more than just cutting. Make her an actual masochist, it's more electric than a depressed self-hating girl.

Instead of cutting because she thinks she's ugly, why not because of a thrill? Like, it gives her adrenaline.

Put some detail on the girl, make her sound older. Possibly do two accounts, a guy and a girl.

Give it a more positive ending too, maybe do romance with the two accounts? The world needs a little lovin' and hope and well... This doesn't help at all.